The Gettin' Place

What An Opportunity!

2009-03-13T14:31:00.002-05:00

We all have email, thus we all get silly mail from time to time. Annoying mail. Potentially threatening mail. Scam mail. It's very frustrating no? Especially when you spring up out of bed like a kid on Christmas to check your inbox for job replies only to discover some ridiculous phishing scheme from a Swiss textile manufacurer asking if they can wire you some money. We can save the Social Darwinism debate for another time. Right now, I'd like you to read this crap:

Our company is a Zweifel Textile Machinery, Switzerland. We produce and distribute clothing materials such as batiks, assorted fabrics,pencil or airbrush mixed with color pencils to Digital artworks and traditional costume worldwide. We have reached big sales volume of textile materials in the Europe and now we are trying to penetrate the US and Canada market. Quite soon we will open representative offices or authorized sales centers in all the state in the US and therefore we are currently looking for people who will assist us in establishing a new distribution network in your area for now. The fact is that despite the US and Canada market is new for us we already have regular clients also speaks for itself.

We are looking for representatives in your area who will work for us as partime or full time and we will be willing to pay 10% percent on every transaction. This job would not affect your present state of work, all we need is someone who would help us recieve payment from ou r customers in your area.
A responsible and reliable person who is trustworthy and honest will fit in to this category due to the cost of relocating and getting payment is very expensive and inefficient for us .Branches have been set up in few countries and states with our head office in Canada . We are working on setting up a branch in your locality but for now we need a representative in your area who will be handling the payment aspect.

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO FOR US?
The international money transfer tax for legal entities (companies) in Switzerland is 25%, whereas for the individual it is only 7%.There is no sense for us to work this way, while tax for international money transfer made by a private individual is 7% .That's why we need you! We need agents or representatives to receive payment for our textiles( in money orders, check or bank wire transfers) and to resend the money to us via Money Gram or Western Union Money Transfer. This way we will save money because of tax decreasing.

JOB DESCRIPTION?
1. Receive payment from Clients
2. Cash Payments at your Bank
3. Deduct 10% which will be your percentage/pay on Payment processed.
4. Forward balance after deduction of percentage/pay to any of the offices you will be contacted to send payment to(Payment is to forwarded either by Money Gram or Western Union Money Transfer).

HOW MUCH WILL YOU EARN?
10% from each operation! For instance: you receive 7000 USD via checks or money orders on our behalf. You will cash the money and keep $700 (10% from $7000) for yourself! At the beginning your commission will equal 10%, though later it will increase up to 12%!

ADVANTAGES
You do not have to go out as you will work as an independent contractor right from your home office. Your job is absolutely legal. You can earn up to $3000-4000 monthly depending on time you will spend for this job. You do not need any capital to start. You can do the Work easily without leaving or affecting your present Job. The employees who make efforts and work hard have a strong possibility to become managers. Anyway our employees never leave us due to our excellent work condition.

MAIN REQUIREMENTS
Under the age of 80,legally capable and responsible,ready to work 3-4 hours per week. with PC knowledge,e-mail and internet experience (minimal) And please know that Everything is absolutely legal, that's why You have to fill a contract! If you are interested in our offer, please respond with the following details for us to reach you.

NOTICE :
We will never ask you for anything more then that, no bank account number, routing number, credit card, passwords, SSN # etc. If anyone asks for those on our behalf, please do not give out this info. This is to ensure your security and non-involvement in cases of identity theft. If anyone ask you for any of those info in our notice please kindly report to your nearest local or federal authorities.

* Full Names_______________
* Address(Not A P.O BOX)__________________
* City_____________________
* State____________________
* Postal Code_______________
* Phone___________________
* Email___________________
* Age_____________________
* Present Occupation_______________
* Marital Status_____________
* Sex_____________________
* Bank Name_________________

Thanks for your anticipated action. And we hope to hear back from you.
Thanks and best regards.
C.E.O

--

Well hot damn! Looks like I've hit the jackpot! Enough is enough. I'm not sure if some Swiss bastard is rifling through the excited responses and personal information of a host of dumb American shmucks, but if there is such a person, he will be receiving a piece of my mind. Here is my response. Enjoy:

Dearest Jonathan Oliver,

Funny you should contact me. I fucking LOVE textile machinery! I would be thrilled to join in the "batik" business, and I don't even know what the shit a batik is! Who cares! After all, you've clearly "reached big sales volume of textile materials in the Europe," so, yea... show me where to sign! What's that? You're looking to set up a branch in my locality? My goodness, what luck! I had no idea I lived in such a hotbed of "pencil or airbrush mixed with color pencils to Digital artworks and traditional costume" activity! I'm in textile heaven! So let me see if I have this figured out:

-You send me money.
-I take 10% of that money.
-I send you the rest of the money.
-Transaction Complete!

Well fuck me! What a phenomenal proposition! Frankly Mr. Oliver, I'm a bit concerned that Zweifel Textile Machinery stands to lose quite a bit of profit on this little expansion effort. But hey, what do I know? Your Jonathan Oliver for Chrissake! You know what you're doing! Who am I to question YOUR business acumen! I'm ready to bust my hump here, like you said, maybe someday I can climb the ranks and become a manager! Then I'LL be the one sending non-sensical, bullshit, broken-english emails to complete strangers asking them for personal information, assuring them of the validity of some ridiculous textile company making God-knows-what, and then later demanding their bank information! With a lot of hard work and more than a smidge of luck, perhaps one day in the distant future, I'LL be the one sending thousands of dollars to trustworthy Americans, encouraging them to remove 10% for no reason whatsoever! Well I guess I can fucking retire at this point. From here on out it's a few weekly trips to the bank, a wheelbarrow or two of wire transfers, and BAM!--nothing left to do but sit back and count my riches! 10% at a time! Hooray!

Oh right, my info:

Full Name: Mr. Edward Magorium

Address: The Wonder Emporium
1137 Enchantment Lane
12345, Magictown, U.S.A

Phone: I don't believe in phones. I use messenger owls.

Email: Again, owls.

Age: 79 (Thank Christ!)

Present Occupation: I run the wonder emporium. Of course that's all done with now. I'm going to set it ablaze and collect the insurance money so I can start focusing on the REAL task at hand. Recieveing checks, subtracting 10% of their worth, and then sending them back to you.

Marital Status: Bitterly, miserably divorced. It gets very lonely at the emporium these days.

Sex: No time! We have batiks to produce!

Bank Name: Shoebox under my tempur-pedic.

Well that should cover all the bases I think. Now all I need from YOU Mr. Oliver, is the following:

Your SS#
Bank Account Information
Mother's Maiden Name
Blood Type
Favorite Color
Most Painful Memory
Age of First Kiss
Strand of Hair
Semen
Handprint
Nail Clippings
Favorite Jonas Brother

I look forward to doing business with one another Mr. Oliver. Something tells me this is the start of a beaaauuuuuuuutiful friendship. Please act now. We have little time to waste.

Fuck Right Off,

Me.

--

I'll let you all know if I get a response.

Magorium Out.

A Sad Day In Bulls History

2009-02-27T12:07:00.003-06:00

Fiery Bulls commentator and former all-star point guard 'Stormin' Norm Van Lier unexpectedly passed away at the age of 61 yesterday. He was found dead in his condo after failing to report for an afternoon broadcast.

Then, around 9:50 last evening, Johnny 'Red' Kerr passed away after a quiet, dignified battle with prostate cancer. Thank God he was alive to be a part of his tribute, though one wishes he would have been in better health to enjoy it.

R.I.P. gentlemen. You will be missed.

Basketball more than a game to all-time city great- Mark J. Konkol and Lacy J. Banks, Sun Times

Ex-Chicago Bull Norm Van Lier, who played hard, lived hard, dies at 61- Rick Morrissey, Tribune

Kerr touched generations of Bulls Fans- Jim O' Donnell, Sun Times

Former Chicago Bulls broadcaster, coach Johnny 'Red' Kerr dead at 76- Melissa Isaacson, Tribune

Would You Rather...

2009-02-26T22:04:00.003-06:00

First, on a random note, here's some advice:

When you buy a Crockpot, and you live by yourself, and you're at the supermarket gathering materials for a pot roast recipe that allegedly serves 6-10 people, don't shrug that information off. Don't assume that you can, or will want, to eat enough pot roast to feed a moderately sized Mormon family. You can probably finish it off eventually, but it will take some serious creativity and a whole boat load of tenacity. Not to mention you will grow enormously tired of pot roast.

(If anyone wants some, drop me a line. I'll cram it in an envelope and express mail it to your home.)

Moving on.

This is the beginning of a new installment here at The Gettin' Place. You all know, I trust, or are at least vaguely familiar with how the "Would You Rather" game is played.

Well it's not really a game per say... it's more of an exercise. My friends and I used to spend countless hours posing serious social quandaries to one another... quandaries that could have only one of two possible outcomes. This invariably led to some stimulating and generally hilarious discussion. Now, if you're thinking these are your stereotypical drinking game booklet questions about eating bugs and hygiene and perverse sexual activity... for the most part, you're off base. For example, one of our time tested regulars was whether you would rather strangle your dog to death or stab a homeless man... I'm going to refrain from diving into specifics on that one.

Anyways, I feel this site could be a great forum for discussion on these matters. I heartily encourage all of you reading to contribute to the debate in the comments section at the end of this post. I also must stress--and this will be my final point before I get down to business--that you can take these situations as far outside the box as you see fit. I'm sure you'll figure it out and this will all go swimmingly...

So without further ado, here's our first question, posed to me by my friend Zilla, a true visionary of the "would you rather" art form:

Would you rather be able to fly or have a credit card that you would never have to pay the balance on?

The details on flight:

Your power of flight is very similar to that of a commercial airliner, speed-wise. You top out at 500 mph. You are not effected by temperature or altitude. You are free to fly whenever, and wherever, you please. You can even take ladies up into the air with you-- a la Superman or Aladdin minus the carpet--for romantic purposes. My immediate retort was in regard to the difficulty level of carrying a woman in the air for an extended period of time. (And I should pause to say, ladies, you can take men up there too if you see fit, but I have a strong feeling they may feel a bit effeminate being carried through the clouds and will, as a result, object your flight proposition. Of course, there can also be same sex air trysts... I don't judge.) I figured that without super strength, it may be a bit strenuous carrying someone around like that. Having to piggy back your baberham of choice would probably drop the romantic value of the excursion several notches. However, my friend and confidant assured me that when it comes to taking people into the sky, you are temporarily granted the ability to carry your passenger without difficulty. So you've got that going for you. Which is nice.

There are limitations of course. No breaking the sound barrier obviously. No Outer space.

Still, you can use your power however you please. For the good of the land, for personal benefit and monetary gain, for evil, whatever. The choice is yours. But mind you this:

"With great power, comes great responsibility" -Uncle Ben, Spiderman

The details on the card:

This is not just an infinite supply of money, let's get that straight right off the bat.

Well... it kinda is. Here's the deal:

You have a million dollar limit per month. And to quote Zilla, "you can't buy companies or islands or shit like that." This is not a black card ladies and gentlemen, there are rules. Under no circumstances are you allowed to make a cash withdrawl. Nothing but swiping. If you can't swipe it, you can't have it. Swipety swipe swipe, swipety-doo.

Much like the power of flight, you can use your plastic however you see fit.

However... I implore you... ALL OF YOU...

Beware of hangers-on! Succubi and various other bloodsucking parasites draining your lifeforce, always begging, pleading, tugging at your shirt for handouts... asking you to buy Jagerbombs, over, and over, and over again! Soon you'll be swiping flapjacks for everyone at brunch! Annoying the shit out of every cab driver who makes the unfortunate mistake of scooping you and your entourage from the local watering hole! What's that? No, sorry Mr. cab driver. I don't have any cash.

Plus, you'll have to buy nachos at the ballpark for entire rows of spectators. A virtually endless trough of nachos!

Think about THAT!

So there. Your possibilities have been placed before you. Now you must choose your destiny. What path would I choose? After some serious deliberation, I eventually changed my mind and decided to opt for the power of flight. My reasoning? I'm sure you could raise plenty of scratch, one way or another, with your soaring ability. Plus, you get to fly. Which is really very fun I think. But enough about me. How do YOU feel?

Make yourself heard.

That is all.

Röyksopp- Happy Up Here

2009-02-25T11:31:00.003-06:00

Proof that music videos can still be very cool when they want to be. The electro-pop duo have a Space Invaders thing going on here. The new album Junior is due on March 23rd. No word on whether it was inspired by the Schwarzenegger film of the same title...

Well shoot, it's pretty hard to top that montage, but here's that video I was originally talking about. I really set the bar unattainably high for the Röyksopp fellows. Sorry guys. Arnold can be distracting.

Link:

Kanye Does Storytellers

2009-02-25T11:09:00.002-06:00

This Saturday, Feb. 28th at 9 PM EST, Kanye will perform on the VH1 Storytellers program, most likely sandwiched between "The Top 100 Songs of the 1890's" and some show called "Tool Academy." (Which is an actual show. Maybe some of you already knew that.) Regardless of what you may think of Mr. West, the man is a great entertainer, sometimes accidentally so. He's the type of artist who was tailor made for the Storytellers format. Why? The man loves to talk. Especially about himself. Knowing Kanye, he will go above and beyond the norm to make this a top-notch spectacle, and after watching this version of "Stronger," I have no doubts he will deliver. Should be mighty interesting to hear him talk about some of the cuts from 808's as well. Enjoy.

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

Bulls Trades Galore. And They're Actually Good.

2009-02-19T21:56:00.008-06:00

Rejoice Bulls fans. Everyone can now wave a sweet, long goodbye to old Captain Hack 'N Flop.

So long Andres. You had your moments, many moons ago. Now take your Pert Plus and kindly leave. At least we'll always have the good times...

You. I don't even wanna look at you. Just get the hell out.

Sorry Dr. Turd Beard. Time to head on down the road.

The Swiss era has come to an end. You weren't meant to play basketball Thabo. According to Larry David, all your people do is ski and eat chocolate. (I couldn't find that particular clip, so I offer this instead.)

So, what do we get in return? Well the Sac-Town deal brings in Brad Miller (remember him?) and John "Smoked" Salmons. In Miller we get a big man known for his very solid passing, especially out of the high post, which should instantly help our young frontcourt (Noah and Thomas), not to mention Luol, who is at his best when cutting to the hoop. Miller can still shoot it from the top of the key too, which should make for a much better pick-and-pop situation with Derrick.

Salmons is having a career year, and does a bit of everything:

2009: 17.6 ppg, 4.0 rpg, 3.6 apg, 1.1 spg, 41.8 3PT%, 16.2 PER

So when you look at it, Miller acts as an upgrade over Drew Gooden who also fits better with our team chemistry. He's on contract for next year as well, but we would have had to sign someone to replace Gooden anyway. Salmons makes us better right now and gives us a replacement for Gordon if we're unable to resign him, which at this point, seems likely due to luxury tax shenanigans. Salmons has the option to opt out of his contract in 2010, and considering he's 30 right now, you have to figure he'll try and go get as much money as possible. Basically, these moves improve us in the short-term and put us in a better position to nab Chris Bosh in 2010, who, rumor has it, considers Chi-town his #1 destination.

Sending out Larry Hughes brings back another malcontent and former Bull, Tim Thomas. Yes I hear the collective groan, but unless he wants to accept a very limited role, I'm sure he will be bought out and sent home once again. We also had to accept the contract of Jerome James, who will most likely never play in the NBA again, and Anthony Roberson, who is probably headed to the practice squad.

The icing on the cake was sending Thabo to OKC for Denver's 1st round pick next year. There was no longer any room or feasible minutes for Swiss Chocolate, and I would say we got great return. That pick could wield some solid talent or be combined with our own pick and perhaps Kirk to put together a trade package.

So was the Sacramento trade the "megadeal" that ESPN deemed it. Certainly not. If anything, calling it such shows just how lame this trade deadline was. None of these moves were sexy, but they make us better, and put us in a better position to contend when 2010 rolls around. So whether it was Paxson or Gar Forman who swung these deals, you should tip your cap.

Not to mention, Amare is likely done for the season with a detached retina. So... phew!

Stuff

2009-02-17T21:25:00.007-06:00

Stuff. I like that word. It would make a good band name. Anyways, that's what this post will be filled with. Stuff. It is jam-packed with all sorts of stuff. You might even say it's stuffed. Stuffed with stuff. Sigh. Let's go.

This is one of the new advertisements for the '09 season. This one was my particular favorite, mostly because it is painfully true. It's all about delayed gratification though. That's how I like to look at it. I think we shitty-winter inhabitants appreciate the joys of summer more than those who see warmth as a God-given right. We earn our sunshine dammit. Which leads me to my main point here:

SPRING TRAINING HAS BEGUN!

Thank Jeebus. No real news at this point. Lou says he might drop Sori down in the order. Sori says he's o.k. with it. Stop me if you've heard this before. I'll believe it when I see it for more than a several game stint. In my opinion, the only real in-house option is Theriot, a man whose baserunning woes are well documented, and who many feel, myself included, may have been playing over his head last year. What else... Z still hasn't had Lasik on his right eye, but is considering it. He now has a mustache. Rich Harden is throwing but they're "keeping an eye on him" or whatever. He will be babied. This is inevitable. Most of this is according to Bruce Miles who blogged from day 1 at camp.

The first ST game will be at home in Mesa against a certain Dodger squad, not even 8 days from now. Feb. 25, 2:05 PM. And so it begins. Stay tuned for regular updates. I'll be doing one final, all-encompassing summation of my thoughts and expectations for this year's squad sometime before opening day as well. Giddy up.

--

Now, in no particular order, here are some deep thoughts I've had over the last week or two:

1.) Those of you who know me well and/or have ever been out to eat with me, will recognize this particular argument.

Attention Restaurants:

Stop putting lemons in my God Damn water if I don't ask for it.

How do we not get a choice in this matter? They just assume we all love citrus squeezed in our H2o? I don't want tangy water. I want my water to taste watery. I wouldn't smear a bunch of fucking ketchup on your steak without your permission. There have to be people out there allergic to lemons right? I guarantee it. This is a lawsuit waiting to happen. All I ask is that I be given a choice in the matter. How can this be permitted to continue? I know I'm not alone. Make yourselves heard people. Together, we can quash this injustice.

2.) Staying on the topic of juice, I have decided that concentrate has been unfairly deemed the trans-fat of the juice world. Since when is concentrate so hazardous to your health? Are there any experts out there? Are we just too cool for concentrate these days? Why has it gotten such a bad rap? What the fuck is so bad about concentrate? What has concentrate done to deserve this?

3.) I was standing out in the cold waiting for the El the other week and I noticed they had put some new ad posters up at the station which I frequent. They were advertisements for an upcoming charity walk against suicide. It occurred to me that placing suicide related posters by moving trains may have been a drastic oversight. I shit you not, in a terrible coincidence, I never got to board the train. They had to shut down the whole red line when someone got struck and killed two stops before me. No details as to whether this was suicide, accident, or murder, but regardless, I move to ban excessively morbid posters around giant metal speeding vehicles from this point forth.

4.) The more capital letters and exclamation points in an advertisement, especially job postings (sigh), the more bullshit. Do yourself a favor and just skip on by.

5.) Why do they still light up no smoking signs on airplanes? It's ridiculous enough that they still have the signs on there, but do they really have to light them up? Are there people rocking back in forth in their seats staring overhead, waiting for the light to go off? Just once, I'd like to hear the captain say the following:

"Well, we've reached our cruising altitude of 30,000 feet. Right now it's 75 degrees and sunny in Acapulco... and we expect to be rolling into the gate right on schedule about 3:15. Soon our flight attendants will be coming by to take your drink orders and offer some complementary snacks. At this point I'm gonna go ahead and turn off the no smoking sign. Feel free to take out all of your collective ciggarettes, cigars, and various other tobacco-related paraphenialia and vigorously suck down as much smoke as you see fit. Suzy will be coming around with a basket of matches in case you're unprepared. We realize you have a choice when flying, and we're glad you've chosen us."

Just leave the light off for Christ's sake. We get it. You're wasting valuable electrcity. I thought we were supposed to be going green?

6.) Guitar Hero must really be kicking themselves over that that little Risky Business athelete-laden ad they churned out a month or so back. What a roster:

-Admitted steroid abuser
-Captured bong practician
-Alleged rapist
-Skateboarder

Do we really want our children skateboarding?

Marvelous timing there Guitar Hero. Who would we assemble for the hall of fame, all-star criminal athlete commercial?

-The Juice
-Vick
-Rae Carruth
-Mike Tyson

Those are the first four that came to mind.

7.) Some of you may know I have recently had trouble finding a legitimate employer worthy of my extensive talents. Therefore, I will adopt a new practice.

I'm going to start cutting and pasting from the resumes of celebrities and world leaders. Picture this:

Work Experience

- Former Host at T.G.I. Fridays
- One time Assistant to Warehouse Manager at local pool supply distributor
- 5 time Mr. Universe champion
- Extensive Pizza Delivery Experience
- Won Academy Award for title role in '94 Spielburg classic, Forrest Gump
- Recent food service technician at college cafeteria
- Former member of high school yearbook squad
- Hosted "The Price Is Right" for 35 years

You get the idea.

8.) I had to drive to my lakehouse with our cat in the car this most recent weekend. She meowed a lot. This got me to thinking about cat names involving the word meow. Here are some I remember:

-Doogy Meowser
-Meow Gasol
-Robert Meowney Jr.
-Chairman Meow
-Marissa Tomeow
-New England Clam Meowder
-The Meow Jones Industrial Average

As always, I welcome suggestions. And photoshopping.

9.) Am I the only one sick of hearing people sing about Mt. Zion? I can't be. Just stop it already.

10.) CSI Miami is the closest thing on television to Walker Texas Ranger, with David Caruso being the closest thing to Chuck Norris.

11.) How in the world did two nuclear submarines and two space satellites collide with one another in successive weeks? I was under the impression that the ocean, and, um, space, were pretty big. Have I been mislead in this regard?

12.) My father once posed an interesting idea to me. If we can have a website devoted entirely to forming positive romantic relationships--eHarmony--can we not have an eChaos? How would such a site function? Do people hate other people so much that they would pay an online service to match them up with said people, people that they really reeeeeaaallllly hate, so that they could engage in mutual, organized badgering and hatred related activities? That way, they could meet at the beach and fight.

I don't think people would pay, but you could probably make money on advertising revenue.

That is all.

Epic

2009-02-11T14:57:00.002-06:00

White Stripes version of "Let's Build A Home" back from their week-long stint on Conan back in 2003.

Not coincidentally, they have signed on to play the final "Late Night" performance February 20.

-via Pitchfork

The White Stripes
Uploaded by molivera

News Accidentally Makes Murder Silly

2009-02-04T22:28:00.003-06:00

I just found this video posted on a very fine sports blog run by some very fine gentlemen who I attended high school with.

(Quick, everyone do the cha-cha slide! Let's go! Wildcats! Let's go Wildcats!)

Do yourselves a favor and check out their work:

http://www.madisonthree.blogspot.com/

And now, the aforementioned video:

This Kid is PARTYIN'

2009-02-04T18:30:00.002-06:00

Little boy messed up after dental surgery. Props to Zilla on the find.

There is one part in particular that made me laugh hysterically.

You'll know it when it comes.

Lil Wayne and Katie Couric

2009-01-31T12:06:00.002-06:00

Two names you associate with one another no? Katie Couric and Lil Wayne will be bowling with one another on her "All Access Grammy Special," and then Katie will ask Weezy questions.

No punchline necessary. It's must-see TV. Feb. 4th, CBS 9PM ET You're welcome CBS. Prepare for a massive surge in television ratings. Call it The Gettin' Place bump.

Peep the preview

Watch CBS Videos Online

What I'm Listening To

2009-01-28T22:18:00.009-06:00

So 2009 is about a month deep at this point and there's not much other than the new Animal Collective and the Bon Iver EP that I've enjoyed.

-The new Andrew Bird is pleasant, but nothing special
-Antony and his voice do not mesh well with me
-Never been a huge Franz Ferdinand fan and so far my opinion is unchanged
-Late of the Pier album has a few good songs, but overall it sounds too campy, a bit cheesy, and it lacks substance.

I'm waiting for something to grab my attention. I streamed the new M. Ward (here) and much like the Bird disc, it was pretty, but nothing that captured my attention. Two upcoming releases I am excited about are the new ...And You Will Know Us disc due in early February as well as the Neko Case cd coming in March which I am very super pumped for.

Anyways, what do I do when nothing recent captures my interest? I dig back a bit. So here's what I've been playing the last few days. I'm on a mixtape/world music type binge:

Various Artists- Slumdog Millionaire OST

I suppose this is pretty current. See the movie first. AR Rahman, famed Bollywood music producer, delivers the goods here. Dancehall/electro/world/reggaeton type stuff, plus M.I.A. gets in on the action.

Wale- The Mixtape About Nothing and 100 Miles and Running

Pronounced WAH-lay, this DC rapper is seriously impressive. Closest comparison would be Black Thought, who he also credits as his favorite lyricist. Metaphors that hurt your brain delivered with a rolling swag. He's an ambitious dude too. The Mixtape About Nothing gathers its central theme from Seinfeld. No seriously, it does. And it works. Snippets of famous show audio are spliced in throughout and the over-arching themes of the series and some of its particularly notable episodes provide inspiration for the content in his verses. It shouldn't work, but it does. Peep the album cover.

Santogold and Diplo- Top Ranking and M.I.A. and Diplo- Piracy Funds Terrorism

Couple of badass mixtapes by Diplo primarily featuring two female artists often considered parallel with one another. Reggaeton, dancehall, new wave, and club rap songs are mixed in and remixed with Santogold's selftitled disc and M.I.A.'s Arular. Good for dance parties if you happen to have a world cuisine themed gathering. If you hold meetings of the model UN in your basement such tunes would also be appropriate. Actually, no they wouldn't. At all. Driving a dune buggie through the jungle with dual subwoofers. That's better.

Enjoy.

Thoughts While NOT Watching Football On Sunday

2009-01-27T22:21:00.006-06:00

Hi.

This last Sunday, there was a large void in my life. Probably yours too. There was zero football on. None whatsoever. It's been a long time since that happened. We all know what Sunday is. Tis' a day of rest. So what did I do? I watched TV. My internet was down and I don't have cable right now, so I had about 3 channels at my disposal. Here is a list of the type of things that occurred to me while watching really bad television for an extended period of time. As always, no logical order:

1.) "Whacked Out Sports" Have you ever seen this show? It's in the same vain as AFV or Real TV except it's nothing but people getting hurt performing sports-related activities. No babies or pets climbing inside boxes taking up valuable pain time. No wacky costumes or zany wedding videos to clutter things up. Just a healthy dose of catastrophe. Who or what could make such a show unwatchable you ask? (Well I should modify that statement. I watched it. Twice.) A narrator so painfully unfunny and saturated with sarcasm he makes you wish every unfortunate skateboarding accident the program documents had him directly involved. A voice that was forged in the fires of television hell. If Bob Saget is God, this, my friends, is the Anti-Christ.

Imagine if this bastard appeared out of the bushes to spew maddening puns every time you hurt yourself in real life. Like for example if I tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and smashed my face on concrete while vacationing in London he might tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle and quip something about me "not having a bloody good time." This is the first example that came to mind. I welcome suggestions.

2.) This commercial:

You would think the Mrs. would grow fed-up with all this penny pinching that borders on the brink of insanity. I want to see a version where rather than bring him a bag of dollar menu items after he jackhammers the family walkway, she slaps him in the face and serves him with divorce papers.

3.) Have you ever watched the Jeff Foxworthy hosted gameshow "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" As far as gameshows go, it is very easy. Like, really, seriously not difficult. I've never seen anything like it. I'm not sure if anyone has ever won the million dollars, but I sure hope someone has, because if they haven't it does not reflect well on the national intelligence. I don't know what kind of draftpool they're using over at Fox Studios but I'm convinced it's not the cream of the crop. I suppose that's part of the shtick. Behold:

And then there's Kelli Pickler:

Foxworthy is actually the best part of this show. It must be tempting to be snarky with these people and he manages to avoid the trap while concurrently being amusing once in awhile. They sure put a lot of pressure on these kids though don't they? I anticipate hundreds of hours in future therapy and repressed memories. Couldn't you see one of these children costing someone hundreds of thousands of dollars only to be accosted with a Homer Simpson like strangle?

"You stupid little bastard!!! I'll choke the life out of you!! I have seventy-five grand in gambling debts and you don't know where fucking Budapest is?!! I got fired for drinking on the job!!! My wife won't return my phone calls! I've got nothing to live for!!!"

You get the idea. Hopefully Foxworthy carries a taser.

4.) Go see Slumdog Millionaire. It is everything a great movie should be. When you're done, buy the soundtrack, which includes this bangin' DFA remix of "Paper Planes":

5.) I love M*A*S*H*

6.) I HATE the Collorio family.

I don't care about your dysfunctional Italian family tree. Give me one of those sausages and shut your damn mouth.

7.) I can't believe the new head of the Republican Party's last name is Boehner. I know it's pronounced BAY-ner and I'm not anti-conservative or anything, but I still find it funny... mostly because whenever I see this guy speaking, he comes off like kind of a boner.

8.) Headline on local Fox News: "For the second time in two weeks, someone has died at a monster truck rally." 'Nuff said.

9.) What kind of life does The Undertaker live away from professional wrestling? He's been going at it for 25 years for God's sake!

Does this guy have a wife and kids? Does he enjoy a glass of Merlot from time to time? Any pets? What are his passions? Flamenco music?

10.) Go see "The Wrestler." Mickey Rourke is phenomenal. Him not winning Best Actor would be an absolute crime. Tomei is great too. Bruce Springsteen's track which he penned for the film after Rourke contacted him, also titled "The Wrestler," is a major triumph as well:

11.) You know that Samsung commercial where the old guy says "Quiet Beetleheads!" when everyone's talking during the big game? That phrase will now be incorporated into my everyday arsenal.

Starting.............. now.

12.) Where does Ryan Seacrest rank on your "Fight Club" list? He has to be like a universal top 25 right? It's not that he's even done anything that wrong. He just has a way about him. I suppose he did kinda mock that blind guy or whatever:

Here's how I wished it would have gone down:

Blind Man- "Don't patronize me Seacrest!!!" (Rips hand away, slugs Seacrest in jaw)

Ryan Seacrest- (Falls).

13.) Why do homeless people insist on staying in cold climates? If you're not completely insane you can find a way down south right? Train, hitchhike... something. What's to stop you? It's not like you have any serious commitments or prior engagements. You're homeless.

That is all.

Someone Posing As Kanye West Is A Big Fan Of Bisexual Porn

2009-01-22T21:21:00.006-06:00

Apparently there are legions of people interested in pretending to be Kanye West so they can make fake, outlandish statements to assorted media outlets, the latest of which "confesses" his desire to break into the porn industry. Yeeezy has a question for those people:

"Why can't you let me be great?"

Over on the blog Kanye revealed people have been hacking into his Gmail and MySpace, opening false Skype and Twitter accounts under his name, and stealing strands of his mullet in order to clone a new super army.

(Please let the mullet come back. Please? Imagine celebrities with mullets. Just pick one you find particularly silly and visualize. Funny isn't it? Tom Brokaw comes to mind... man I am really on a Brokaw kick lately...)

Anyways, Ye is pissed, and understandably so. You can peep his rant here.

Thoughts While Watching Way Too Much Inauguration Day Coverage

2009-01-20T16:26:00.013-06:00

Alright then. No rhyme or reason here. Let's go.

1.) Non-inauguration-speech quote of the day: "He's just a cool dude. They like the way he moves." -Tom Brokaw on why the youth were so smitten with Barack Obama.

Am I the only one who immediately thinks of the Outkast song? I'm not am I. Can't you imagine a music video with Tom Brokaw wearing a big fur coat, rapping about President Obama and the greatest generation? You can't? Try harder. I'm convinced the world would be a better place if Tom Brokaw were to release a rap album. The cadence of his voice is unparalleled. Can we make this happen? YES WE CAN.

2.) "Yes We Can!" "Yes We Did!" "O-BA-MA!" Can we stop the mindless chanting at this point? Please. May I offer an alternative? Whenever Barack appears in a public setting let's all fucking sing "We Are the Champions" in unison. The chanting needs to stop. Sure, chanting can be fun. Have I ever chanted? Of course. Who doesn't love a chant now and then? But all good things in moderation people! You don't like that guy at the ballpark who keeps trying to start chants all the time do you? No, of course you don't. You don't wanna be that guy.

A question: Does this dramatic spike in chanting have anything to do with all these tri-syllabic phrases? Somebody draw up a study. Who do you think had the least chantable surname in presidential history? My vote goes to Eisenhower. The most comedic? Bush.

Haha, Bush.

3.) How much would you pay to know what kind of conversations Barack and G-Dub have had in private? If I were a wealthy man I would pay a hefty sum for such a transcript. They don't seem like the most compatible duo, am I right? I smell a sitcom!!!

4.) Helicopters are crazy.

5.) Hey Chief Justice John Roberts: If you're too cool to use any notes when SWEARING IN THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, you better have a good enough memory to remember like, one paragraph of dialogue. You reminded me of Jeff Gordon trying to sing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame."

6.) What kind of food did they serve at that luncheon? Christ. Senators were dropping like flies. It's either that or Ted Kennedy swallowed an alka-seltzer like that guy in Eraser. Too soon?

7.) How sick is that new armored Cadillac limo? Can I get an over/under on how many rappers are going to mention it and or attempt to buy it in the coming months? I'm setting the bar at 5.

8.) Being in the Secret Service seems like a pretty sweet gig. If Sinbad can do it, why can't I?

9.) There seemed to be an abnormal amount of personal anecdotes while the NBC news team attempted to fill loads of inevitable silence throughout the afternoon. It must be tough to provide worthwhile content during a day of events filled with such an abundance of downtime and potentially boring live coverage. I don't blame them for rambling. It must be hard. I was hoping for just one wildly inappropriate, non-related yarn where Brian Williams would recount the time he did a bunch of mescaline and set a goat on fire, but it never came to fruition. Maybe next election.

10.) Initially it was very touching stuff, but let's stop rounding up every African-American woman over the age of 75, telling her to say how she never thought she'd see the day, and calling it a news story. I don't mean to sound cynical, but after watching a more-than-hearty share of election and inauguration coverage, I've had my fill. I hoped they'd find one incredibly cute old lady who'd had this year marked on her calendar for decades, but she never appeared. Ms. Cleo, I'm looking at you. Over 75? Not so much. But I like to think her wisdom adds at least 20 years.

11.) Quote from Obama's inauguration speech that I felt was most poignant to our time, stood out above the rest, will have the most historical staying power: "To those leaders around the world who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West--know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy."

12.) Random, hilarious news headline I found while searching for inauguration pictures: "Vomiting Birds Save Icebox Pair Adrift For 25 Days"

Here's Obama's inauguration speech in full.

And here's a video that remixes Daft Punk's "Aerodynamic"-- a version that doesn't vary far from the original except for some presidential spelling--using stop-motion animation and some crazy legos:

Daft Punk vs. Adam Freeland - "Aer OBAMA" from Gold Greendot on Vimeo.

That is all.

The Felix Pie Trade

2009-01-20T14:06:00.005-06:00

The former Cubs #1 prospect and one-time center fielder of the future is no more. Pie was traded on Sunday to Baltimore, a team that has shown interest in his services for some time, for two arms: lefty Garrett Olson and righty Hank Williamson.

Olson has had a rough go of it since being prematurely thrust into a starting role with the Orioles. Peep the minor league stats versus the majors:

Minors (383.2 IP, 71 appearances): 12-10, 2.96 ERA, 9.0 K/9

2008 after promotion to the bigs: (26 starts, 132.2 IP): 9-10, 6.65 ERA

Williamson is a big boy (6-5, 233lbs.) who posted some solid power stats in Single A ball last year: 42 K's in 29 IP, BAA of .221

So what does this all mean? Well, when the Cubs signed Joey Gathright they essentially ended the Pie era here in Chicago. It was only a matter of when, to who, and for what he would be traded. Andy MacPhail (remember him?) has long shown interest in Felix, and the Orioles have been tied to him since those incessant Brian Roberts rumors first began to surface. Personally, I feel as though Pie never really got enough of a chance. He is still young by prospect standards and already has shown plus speed, plus defense, and a plus arm at the big league level. If you compare his major and minor league stats with Soriano's at this age, he even has a slight advantage. If he can develop some solid power (he'll never have the patience for the leadoff spot) he could really blossom. We shall see. The Cubs remain a team in "win-now" mode, and any Lou Piniella managed team in "win-now" mode is not going to tolerate the offensive struggles of a prospect like Pie. There simply weren't enough innings available for him to learn on the job. Lou generally has a "shit-or-get-off-the-pot" attitude with his non-star players. Unfortunately for Felix, he was a bit constipated. It'll be interesting to see how he fares when given a starting slot, which, in all likelihood, will be the case in Baltimore.

All stats aside, what did we get in return? In Olson we have a potential lefty mid-rotation guy with Sean Marshall/Rich Hill type stuff. Williamson projects as a power bullpen piece with a live arm. The key to all this however is that Kevin Towers, GM of the Padres, has previously expressed interest in Olson. Therefore the hope is that this is another precursor to a Peavy trade. Let's hope that's the case. The ideal trade would probably send Olson, Jeff Stevens (arm acquired from Cle. in the DeRo deal), Cedeno, Kevin Hart and maybe one other piece--please God not Josh Vitters--to San Diego for Peavy. If Hendry could spin this deal with any 5th man other than Vitters, I would be pretty damn happy. Here's hoping it's on the way.

Thoughts/Observations After Watching Football All Weekend

2009-01-13T14:16:00.005-06:00

First let me say thanks to those of you who contributed to the reader input post. As a result of your requests, the following will now be staples here at the website:

1.) Pictures of me wearing clothes
2.) Videos of me in the shower
3.) People doing monkey stuff
4.) In-depth Cricket coverage
5.) Photos of my poop

Ask and you shall receive.

Moving on. Here's some things I thought of while watching football all weekend in the order they originally came to me:

1.) Hey Howie Long. Stop making fun of strangers for not having Chevy trucks. You snarky bastard. How furious would you be if something like this were to happen to you in real life? Well I take it back. You'd probably be too confused to be angry. Example:

Me (sitting in traffic in my non-Chevy truck): Come on! Move people!

Howie Long taps on my window. I roll my window down.

Me(shocked, confused): Howie Long?

Howie: Hows your gas mileage?

Me: Excuse me?

Howie: Mine's better. My engine's bigger too.

Me: Where did you come from anyway? Did you just abandon your truck in the middle of traffic to come harass me?

Howie: Nice manicure. Doosh.

Me: What the?- It's not a manicure dammit! Stop making fun of me Howie Long! Christ, get out of here! Broken Arrow was cool but Firestorm fucking sucked!

You see? You'd be shocked wouldn't you. Shocked and hurt.

I have to take back that Firestorm knock though. I lost my temper and said something I didn't mean. It happens.

2.) Why are all the talking heads insisting that Edgerrin James and the Cards running game is suddenly a factor? It's still no good. The team numbers:

vs. ATL: 28 car, 86 yds, 3.1 avg.

vs. CAR: 43 car, 145 yds, 3.4 avg.

The second game was a little better, but most of that was in garbage time against a team that had already quit.

3.) Joe Flacco is just ok. One day he may be good. Even very good. Right now? He's just ok. So everybody just chill out on the Flacco boner.

4.) Geico. I am calling out your head of advertising. What is this money-with-the-googly eyes shit you're peddling? It's not funny. At all. You think just because you made one, maybe two funny ads about some fucking cavemen that you can wake up hungover and throw together some ad campaign about a stack of dollar bills with fucking googly eyes, add some techno music, and everyone will lap it up like it's hilarious! Try harder dammit! I have no respect for anyone who enjoys these commercials. It reminds me of this:

5.)
This fucking guy pisses me off. Why? Come on. Just look at him. I bet he pisses you off too. I thought it was impossible to make T.G.I. Fridays more obnoxious and less appetizing. I was wrong. Mission Accomplished.

That is all.

Reader Input

2009-01-09T21:12:00.007-06:00

Greetings all. Considering it's the new year and whatnot, I'm trying to improve the content of the website, and to do that, I need suggestions. From you. The people.

So. People. What's up?

What would you like to see The Gettin' Place offer? Here are some possibilities:

1.) Daily/weekly new music or "What I'm listening to" posts

2.) Fiction by yours truly and others both notable and unknown

3.) More videos of monkeys doing people stuff

4.) Commentary on current events

5.) Broader sports talk

6.) Personal, comedic accounts of the past and more recent zany exploits of my cohorts and I (You'd be anonymous cohorts. Relax.)

Just a few of my own ideas. If you could tell me what you like, don't like, want more of, would like to see, it would go a long way in making The Gettin' Place a better, um, place, to dick around on the world-wide-inter-super-high-web-o-sphere-net.

So I encourage, nay demand... no, that's too strong. Beg? No, too needy. Dammit.

Forget I said anything. Just leave some suggestions here.

That's right. I just Rick Roll'd the shit out of my own audience. That's how I do.

Now if you aren't too offended, I would greatly appreciate it if you would leave your advice in the section marked "comments" underneath this post.

Cheers.

-JDP

Oh How Happy This Makes Me

2009-01-08T20:40:00.002-06:00

I'm not going to tell you what this is. I'm not even going to give you a hint. It's better that way. It's safe for work if you happen to be in the office.

Go. Watch. Now.

Pretty Neat

2009-01-08T19:46:00.000-06:00

Colin Munroe ft. Joell Ortiz- Piano Lessons

2009-01-08T13:32:00.002-06:00

More proof that Black Milk can make anything sound dope.

Bon Iver EP

2009-01-08T12:31:00.005-06:00

Anybody else think that if we threw a helmet and a #18 Bears jersey on Justin Vernon he could easily pass for Kyle Orton? The resemblance is uncanny!

Fresh off his #1 album of the year commendation from The Gettin' Place, Vernon and the Bon Iver troop now return with a four song EP entitled Blood Bank, due out on January 20th. Here's a brief rundown:

"Blood Bank" and "Beach Baby" are awesome, traditional Bon Iver tunes. The former employs a specific, storytelling lyrical style that was generally absent on For Emma while the latter features some distorted, warbling pedal steel.

"Babys" opens with a redundant piano line which gradually opens up as Vernon's falsetto jumps into the mix along with an acoustic.

"Woods" is the real oddball of the bunch for it's essentially an a cappella song featuring Vernon's voice multi-tracked all over the place. With auto-tune. No joke.

You can stream the whole thing at his MySpace.

Enjoy.

This Woman HATES Watermelon

2009-01-07T23:29:00.006-06:00

Here at The Gettin' Place, we try and keep things highbrow.

What's the point of living if we can't be a part of a civilized, sophisticated society?

In a world perpetually devoid of good taste, we try and bring a smidge of much-needed class to the table.

Now watch this big boobed Mexican woman smash the shit out of a watermelon with one of her boobs and then eat a slice of the boob-crushed watermelon.

Return From Hiatus

2009-01-07T12:41:00.006-06:00

I've been vacationing and attending to other matters recently. Haven't been in the mood to blog lately. For those of you saying, "Well, you get in the mood!"... I will try.

So here's a brief recap of things that have happened since I've been out of commission:

1. Cubs send DeRo away to the Indians to join Woody, receive prospect arms

2. Cubs sign utility guys Joey Gathright, Aaron Miles

3. Cubs sign Gameboard (Milton Bradley) to three year, $30 mil. deal

4. Cubs send Marquis to Rockies for bullpen arm (Vizcaino) and cap space

The following is a very brief summary of how I feel regarding these respective moves:

1. Fuck! Fuck shit dammit! Better be a greater plan in motion...

2. Hooray. How thrilling. At least Gathright can jump over cars:

3. Not my #1 choice (I was partial to Dunn the Big Donkey) but we'll see. If he stays healthy he will rake and bring some more swag to the North Side.

4. Fine with it.

What else? Oh, Animal Collective released the first great album of 2009, Merriweather Post Pavillion. Perhaps the best track from this new offering, "My Girls," can be heard here, at their MySpace.

I discovered Detroit rapper Black Milk and his late 2008 release Tronic. It's a dope beat extravaganza. Start off with "Long Story Short," "Hell Yeah," "Overdose," "The Matrix," and my personal favorite "Bond 4 Life." Headphones highly recommended. You can stream the whole album from his MySpace here.

Oh yea. And the Bears lost. Fuck.

Well that oughta do it for now. Here's a music video some of my Colorado companions made to accompany Rick Astley's under-appreciated tour-de-force, "Together Forever." As they put it, it's "The tale of two young lads who discover the magic of friendship with the help of everyone's favorite musician." Sounds good to me. Hit it:

Dancing Robots

2008-12-29T12:17:00.002-06:00

Dear Lord didn't James Cameron teach us anything?

Skynet bro. Skynet.

I kept waiting for the Schwarz to jump on stage and stomp these bitches under his boot heel. But he didn't. And now we are doomed.

Dancing Sony Robots
by orion1999

PART 3: THE TOP TEN ALBUMS OF '08

2008-12-23T16:02:00.026-06:00

Without further ado...

#10- Fuck Buttons- Street Horrrsing

Terrible band name, I know. Album title? Also not so great. Get over it.

You could probably label this the most "out there" of all the releases on this list. For some, that may be an instant turn off, and that's understandable. Others may be intrigued. I know that I've never enjoyed or despised music for such reasoning. For me music just is. Either it appeals to you, or it don't. Pleasant to the ears, or just a bunch of noise.

And that's a proper segue for this particular review, for many will group Fuck Buttons in with the "noise" category. By definition, it does share some characteristics with certain brands of electronic and post-rock that fall under the the genre of noise music, but Street Horrrsing is far more than that. It mixes elements of cathartic electro (think Stars of the Lid) with house music... and then there are the vocals, if you would call them that. Screamed, distorted and unintelligible, the shouts add a sense of foreboding creepiness to the mix that, when coupled with the more melodic moments of the disc, offer an interesting balance between pleasantry and horror. Perhaps I'm making this sound more inaccessible than it is, because the melodies are there. It's brilliantly produced with huge, bombastic waves of synth. The record plays like an extended suite; one long writhing, fluctuating piece. Street Horrrsing is an exercise in restrained precision, a testament to the power of subtle changes and alterations in electro-music. Put it this way: after listening to thirty second samples at the IStore, you'd think this would get boring. It doesn't.

Highlights: "Sweet Love for Planet Earth," "Bright Tomorrow"

#9- Fleet Foxes- Fleet Foxes

Many will have heard of this one by now. I even saw it for sale at the counter of a Starbucks the other day. Go figure. Regardless, there's a reason this full-length debut has been at or near the top of most critical year-end lists this season. It deserves to be.

Pacific Northwest roots folk-rock with Beach Boy harmonies. Oh, those harmonies. Spellbinding. There's a fair share of echo and reverb a la Jim James on earlier My Morning Jacket albums, but Fleet Foxes are their own band. Pristinely clean electric guitar lines, the buzz of finger-picked acoustics. Some barebones offerings are nothing more than the voice of Sam Pecknold and an acoustic guitar, like on "Tiger Mountain Peasant Song" where he convincingly laments: "I don't know what I have done, I'm turning myself, to a demon." The fact that the band can craft simple but captivating tunes like these speak to their precocious abilities as songwriters. It's damn refreshing to find an honest-to-God folk record at the top of indie "best of's" across the web. Truly a release that stands up to a barrage of critical hype. The Fleet Foxes are at the crest of an interesting and almost unimaginable new wave of bearded hippie folk in critically lauded indie rock. Finally some earthiness has come to a scene perpetually clogged with overly clever acts making difficult music for the sake of it.

The Best: "White Winter Hymnal" "Ragged Wood" "He Doesn't Know Why"

#8- Deerhunter- Microcastle

Let me start by getting this out of the way. Most publications have grouped Microcastle with the bonus disc it ended up being released with, Weird Era Cont. I have not. There are several reasons for this:

1.) I does what I wants.

2.) I have not listened to Weird Era enough to pass judgment on it.

3.) I don't see them as one entity as some do. In my estimation, it was never intended that way. It's called Weird Era Cont. It's not disc 2 of Microcastle. Microcastle is its own, complete piece that is paced and arranged as a single, cohesive record. That's part of its beauty.

So that's where I stand on all that. This review pertains strictly to Microcastle, which is my 8th favorite album of the year. Let's move on.

Deerhunter's 2007 release Cryptograms was notable for its Jekyll and Hyde divisiveness. A lengthy album, the first half was sharp, ominous, morbid and often criticized for an abundance of sometimes directionless droning. The second half was decisively more pleasant. It was like stepping out of a cave. On Microcastle, the band has taken up permanent residence outside said cave. This is the "pretty" record people always knew Deerhunter were capable of making. There are still sections where the band indulge in their jammier, instrumental tendencies, but these instances are restrained and far more tasteful than on their previous effort. The three song mini-suite of "Calvary Scars," "Green Jacket," and "Activa" comes to mind. This stretch of the album fits perfectly within the overall framework of the disc, as does virtually every song on here. The cohesiveness and pacing of Microcastle is one of its chief selling points. Then you pick out some of the individual triumphs and realize the album succeeds from a singles standpoint as well. It's beautiful to hear Deerhunter embrace concise pop-rock with immediately catchy tracks like "Agoraphobia" and "Never Stops." Then you get the toe-tapping fuzzed guitar attack of "Nothing Ever Happened" or the distinctly 60's flavor of "Saved By Old Times." Call it shoegaze, dream-pop, or plain old indie rock. It's good. Real good.

Highlights: "Agoraphobia" "Never Stops" "Nothing Ever Happened"

#7- The Hold Steady- Stay Positive

"In Bar light, she looked alright, in day light she looked desperate. That's alright I was desperate too. I'm getting pretty sick of this interview.

Subpoenaed, in Texas, sequestered, in Memphis..."

Oh Craig Finn. You say things good.

So yea, it's a Hold Steady record. It rocks. They sing about drinking. They sing about drugs. And they keep getting better. This is probably the most varied batch of songs they've ever crafted. The previously alluded to "Sequestered in Memphis" is packed with horns. "Lord I'm Discouraged" is essentially a glam-rock ballad. "One for the Cutters" prominently features some toy piano, and title track "Stay Positive" makes heavy use of an organ. Craig Finn continues to grow as a lyricist. The vignettes, the individual stories, and the characters that fill them are more vivid than ever. Hell, he even does a little more traditional "singing" on this record. Good song lyrics, for me, have always been more of a plus than a dealmaker. The writing on Stay Positive is one of the exceptions to that rule. On this album far more than efforts past, the band's subjects are more applicable to personal experience. The tales and the literate gold mines they contain are not as restricted to Finn's recurring cast of characters and the themes that engulf them. Though some of that does appear, and God knows I love it, more of these songs pertain to the everyman. It makes for a more rewarding, more personal listening experience.

Favorites: "Constructive Summer" "Lord I'm Discouraged" "Yea Sapphire" "Slapped Actress"

#6- Q-Tip- The Renaissance

The hip-hop world is soooooo much better with Tip around. He proves it on the aptly titled Renaissance. Some of that mainstream stuff is enjoyable, sure. The man admits it himself. But at the end of the day, as he questions on album opener "Johnny is Dead," "What good is a' ear if a Q-Tip isn't in it?"

It is his refusal to beat his own realness into the ground that makes this all so enjoyable. How many one-trick "underground" hip-hop records have you heard over the years that were content to merely preach their "superior" emcee skills while tearing down ice-adorned gangster-posturing with uninspired and often recycled wordplay? Q-Tip isn't hear to tell you why he's so much better than anything you're listening to. He doesn't have to. This is realness of a different brand. A heartfelt, relatable document that studies relationships and the inevitable dramatics that accompany male and female interaction.

Songs like uber-optimistic single "Gettin' Up" ("Now look at our lives so colorful, a wonderful spectrum not 1 tone dull, full of excitement and not 1 lull"), or the somber bass funk of "You" with its tale of infidelity ("When I finally realized I couldn't swallow, I had a lump in my throat my stomach hollow"), offer insight into Tip's own personal experience; feelings and situations we've all been subjected to over the years.

The record is the most soulful hip-hop release I've heard in years. The back-to-back duo of "Life is Better" and "Believe," featuring Norah Jones and D'Angelo on vocal duties respectively, are knockouts. Album closer "Shaka" urges listeners to "Raise your glasses for the lost ones in your life," while Tip gives tribute to his passed brother, father, and friend, J-Dilla. The Renaissance is the sort of album where you find yourself violently bobbing your head in public places. The coolness and swagger of the thing is infectious and Tip is as liquid smooth as he ever was.

The Abstract is back.

Listen Immediately: "Gettin' Up" You" "Life is Better" "Believe"

#5- Shearwater- Rook

Jonathan Meiburg has one of those voices. He possesses the sort of magnetic vocal gift that carries entire albums singlehandedly. Fortunately on Rook, he's got plenty of help.

Now whenever a hyper-emotive male vocalist comes along capable of hitting dramatically high notes, we feel obligated to make reference to that most hallowed template of pretty guy singing: Jeff Buckley. You can't help it. It's like trying not to bring up Loveless when writing about shoegaze. There's just nothing you can do to stop it. Of course there is some logical reasoning for the comparison.

Shearwater capture that same sort of moody, burgundy-tinged romanticism that Buckley purveyed on Grace over a decade before them. Rook succeeds largely due to its structure; its balance of soft/loud dynamics. Its ability to snarl one moment and purr the next. Sound familiar? Now in no way am I claiming Meiburg and his band have aped Buckley's work. It's more a case of two brilliant albums achieving a parallel vision in two separate decades while sounding completely unique... if that makes sense.

Rook is unapologetically beautiful, so if you don't do tender too well, then keep your distance. That'd be your loss of course, for it's a captivating record.

Highlights: "Leviathan Bound" "Lost Boys" "The Snow Leopard"

#4- TV On The Radio- Dear Science

Whenever the most critically anticipated record of the year is able to deliver so thoroughly, it is something to be celebrated. Single "Golden Age" (which stands up to repeat listens as one of the best songs on the album) hinted at a more accessible, less dismal TVOTR record, which proved to be true. What you could not have guessed until listening to Dear Science several times through however is that they would manage to combine dirty New York art-rock with elements of doo-wop, neo-soul and downright funk in so seamless a fashion, that the final product would result in a surprisingly danceable pop album.

Now of course when I say pop, don't misconstrue that. This remains distinctly a TVOTR record. These songs sound exclusively theirs, like no one else could craft them. Still, on Dear Science the band indulges in a wide range of disparate influences, resulting in a more chameleon-like album than ever before. Opener "Halfway Home" starts off with a chorus of "Bah Bah Bah Bah Bah's" that wouldn't feel out of place on a Brian Wilson record. "Dancing Choose" offers an epic-catalogue style rap a la "It's the End of the World..." or "We Didn't Start the Fire." "Family Tree" is a fragile ballad filled with aching strings. "Red Dress" is peppered with horns and funk guitar. Check out the punchy drums throughout the menacing lockstep of "DLZ." It's all there, all in the right place. Co-frontmen Tunde Adebimpe and Kyp Malone still pen some of the most thought provoking shit around:

"This is beginning to feel like the long winded blues of the never, this is beginning to feel like it's curling up slowly and finding a throat, to choke. This is beginning to feel like the long winded blues of the never, barely controlled locomotive consuming the picture and blowing the crows, to smoke." (Read the rest here)

This is the sound of a band at the height of its powers, making thrillingly modern music that is distinctly 21st century.

Favorites: "Crying" "Golden Age" "Love Dog" "DLZ"

#3- The Walkmen- You & Me

I would say that no other album this year captured a distinct mood as perfectly as The Walkmen do here. The jangle of that vintage gear, the church-like acoustics, Hamilton Leithauser's croon; it's a perfect storm of underdog optimism. This is the culmination of much time spent honing a sound and a dynamic to the point of perfection. And the more I listened, the more specific Leithauser passages began to jump out in the mix. I started to hear what he was lamenting. That most bemoaned of life's transitional points; the virtual limbo between those last threads of youth and the initial jolt of adulthood and its subsequent settle down. Where the late nights grow redundant and that looming obligation to dig in finally overwhelms.

Personally, I'm not quite there yet. But we can all see it coming, that aforementioned purgatory between youthful exuberance and expected stability. You & Me tells the story of coming to terms with that point in life where paycheck becomes career, whether that's an impending or present reality. It offers hope for the future while bidding a nostalgic farewell to the past. It is ammo for those fearful of that next daunting step. Use it.

Highlights: "Donde Esta La Playa" "On the Water" "In the New Year" "I Lost You"

#2- Wolf Parade- At Mount Zoomer

"Call it whatever you will."

Not sure what to call it. Wolf Parade's previous record and full-length debut, Apologies to the Queen Mary was probably what many not familiar with the trappings and commonalities of the indie genre would slap with a capital I. Well, they wouldn't necessarily be wrong. At all. However the word "indie" itself has come to signify so many fucking things, many annoying, that people lose sight of what in the hell it actually stands for. One of the definitions on dictionary.com describes indie as "a pop group not affiliated with a major record company." Fair enough. It is short for independent, no? However, with Sub Pop being home to bands like Nirvana, The White Stripes, Death Cab For Cutie, and Sonic Youth among many others, would any act associated with Sub Pop really fall all that far outside the mainstream? Maybe not. My point is this. Blog-rock constituents across the land developed a massive erection for Wolf Parade when they first came out of the cluttered Montreal music scene, and when they released Queen Mary in 2005 it was hailed as a massive triumph. So the band waits a few years and releases At Mount Zoomer, a record that may fall in with the prog-rock genre more than anything else.

Ballsy. Wolf Parade don't want to be indie poster-boys. They recognize the silly futility of labels in music. Hell, they recognize the frivolousness of virtually everything ("What you know can only mean one thing.") Call it nihilistic. Whatever. It's rock music, at times a bit yelpy, with plenty of synths to go along with plenty of guitar fireworks and more than a shred of negativity. The songs unfold in to multiple parts, turning in unexpected, thrilling different directions. The hooks are monstrous. It's only nine songs long, the last of which is an 11 minute epic. It, At Mount Zoomer, is awesome.

The Best: "Soldier's Grin" "Fine Young Cannibals" "An Animal in Your Care"

#1- Bon Iver- For Emma, Forever Ago

And then there was one. Quick note: the album was independently released in late '07 but not given the official treatment until '08. Many publications counted it as an '08 release for their lists, as will I considering I didn't get ahold of it until this year. So there.

The more I listened to this album, the more I decided that of all the releases on this list, For Emma was the one I would invariably return to more than any other. To me, this seemed like the perfect qualification for a #1 album. That and the fact that it's virtually flawless.

Bon Iver is Justin Vernon, the man who confined himself to a log cabin in Wisconsin for four months to record this hauntingly intimate snapshot of the Northwoods and the sense of brittle fragility it can mirror in the human spirit. The record drips with a sense of loneliness and longing that could only have been captured by embracing complete confinement. For the record's entirety, Vernon sounds like a man removed.

For a late season soundtrack, For Emma sounds awful warm. It's like watching others out there in all that snow and ice, their breath smoking, the branches of dead trees crystallized and sagging with winter weight while you sit comfortably indoors in front of a fire. There is a definite sense of voyeurism listening to an album that was recorded under such well-documented seclusion. Vernon's painstaking falsetto sounds heart-wrenchingly personal. His voice is the most vital instrument on the album, as its often multi-tracked to provide choral accompaniment to his leads. In a time where there exists a frustrating and even comical over-abundance of uninspiring male acoustic slingers attempting the sensitive songwriter approach, Bon Iver's For Emma Forever Ago points out how innocuous those lesser recordings have become. He demonstrates the unparalleled intimacy the medium has to offer when executed to perfection.

Highlights: "Flume" "The Wolves (Act I and II)" "For Emma" "re: Stacks"

So there you have it.

Thus concludes my top 30 albums of 2008. Hope you enjoyed reading and found something new to listen to.

Happy Holidays.

Weeeeehaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

2008-12-23T00:13:00.005-06:00

MOOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Bears 20, Stupid Losers 17

What in the world just happened?

Quick, everybody do the limbo dance!!!!

While You're Waiting

2008-12-22T18:32:00.003-06:00

I know you're all salivating over the top ten, tossing and turning at night with dreams of giant sevens and threes flying by your face. Never fear. It should be up tomorrow. In the mean time, to keep you entertained, I offer several videos as a peace offering. I'm feeling distinctly Hoff-like tonight. Plus, Mark sent me a video of a funny dog. Behold...

TOP 30 OF '08 PART 2

2008-12-17T19:34:00.023-06:00

Onward we go. Here's #20 through #11.

#20- She & Him- Volume One

A pleasant surprise. She is Zooey Deschanel, the actress from Almost Famous, Elf, and new Jim Carrey flick Yes Man among others. Him, or he I suppose, is M. Ward, indie folk troubadour and talented multi-instrumentalist. The album is an intensely pleasant trip through A.M. radio. Impressively, with the exception of a few covers (Smokey Robinson, Beatles) these are songs Deschanel penned herself. The magic would be missing without Ward's arrangements however. The acoustics let Zooey's voice command the attention it deserves (see Patsy Cline or Neko Case for a more contemporary comparison). Even more impressive perhaps is the fact that the originals far outshine the duo's takes on the older tunes. A record dripping with nostalgia, this is nuanced, beautiful music that harks back to a simpler time like a grainy projector cycling through slides of summer. Or something like that. Make sure to stick around at the end to hear her belt out "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot."

Highlights: "Sentimental Heart" "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here" "Got Me"

#19- Little Joy- Little Joy

The name of the band evokes this self-titled disc pretty perfectly. Fabrizio Morretti, drummer of The Strokes, got together with Rodrigo Amarante, formerly of Brazilian band Los Hermanos, to record this simple and relentlessly pleasant offering. Bossa Nova influences play a major role, but there's plenty of laid-back Strokes cool complete with the razor sharp pop sense that made that band so huge in the first place. Amarante's crooning more than makes up for an absence of Casablancas, and there's some saccharine-sweet vocal turns by Binki Shapiro (real name, check the breezy waltz of "Don't Watch Me Dancing"). This record sounds like it was a blast to make, and the comfort of their environment and the camaraderie it fostered shines through perfectly. It's early sunset cocktail music (Little Joy is actually the name of the local dive where they hung out while working on the album.) You don't have to peel back layers to enjoy this stuff. Although seek out a warmer climate for optimum enjoyment.

Favorites: "Brand New Start" "No One's Better Sake" "Don't Watch Me Dancing"

#18- The Dodos- Visiter

Think Animal Collective as a virtuosic acoustic duo. Sort of. They appreciate that band's animalistic tribal clatter to be certain. This is often frantic and thrilling stuff. Epic offerings like "Red and Purple" or "Joe's Waltz," the latter of which clocks in at seven minutes plus, manage to engage throughout. There are also some shorter, poppier endeavors that the duo play closer to the belt. In an album this ambitious and, well, long, such moments of brevity and simplicity are essential. The centerpiece of Visiter is undoubtedly "Fools." The tinny metronomic clacking of drumsticks and the low constant thud of a kickdrum opens as a brief swelling dissonance emerges only to give way to the franticly bright chime of a strummed acoustic. Complete with accentuated shouting and "Oh ohhh" harmonizing, it brings the full package. Reminds me of AC's "Fireworks." The album plays a bit long, hovering around the sixty minute mark, and there are times where things grow a bit tedious, but the rewards are well worth your time.

Check Out: "Red and Purple" "Fools"

#17- M83- Saturday's = Youth

Shameless, hyper-cinematic 80's shoegaze. The cover, the album title, voice-over narrative lyrics with quotes like "I'm 15 years old and I feel it's already too late to live." Anthony Gonzalez bludgeons us over the head with enough new-wave emoting to satisfy an entire Donnie Darko trilogy. This is high-school montage music, fit for the big screen, just a couple generations back. Amazingly, it manages to sound concurrently relevant. This is an unapologetic tribute to a time and a music that obviously had a profound shaping in Gonzalez's makeup, an era he must look back on favorably. That doesn't mean those years weren't filled with their share of pain of course, and herein lies the universality of the thing. The hormonal precariousness and fragility of the teenage mind. They are perhaps the chief tenets of the adolescent experience. I mean, there's a reason they made, and make, so many movies about those years. They're saturated in dramatics, characterized by a perpetual absence of stasis. It is an ebb-and-flow unique and exclusive to the high school demographic. Saturdays=Youth captures this emotional fulcrum.

Oh and the music's pretty good too.

Standouts: "Kim & Jessie" "Graveyard Girl" "Couleurs"

#16- Department Of Eagles- In Ear Park

Grizzly Bear side project that sounds an awful lot like Grizzly Bear. I'm not complaining. Another case where the aesthetics of the album art capture the feel of the record pretty damn accurately. What's that they say about pictures... they're worth a something something...

You can file it under psych-folk, only the songs feel more narcotic than psychedelic. Many of the tracks here come off more like compositions than tunes. These are pieces, nearly orchestral in their intricacy. From a songwriting perspective, it's some remarkable stuff. If you fail to recognize the symphonic grandiosity of it all, it's bluntly alluded to on "Classical Records":

"Do you listen to your classical records anymore? Or do you let them sleep in their sleeves where they weep?"

Well, personally I don't have any classical records, but I can appreciate the magnitude of those I hear, and I sure can appreciate this.

Standouts: "No One Does It Like You" "Phantom Other" "Balmy Night"

#15- Eagles Of Death Metal- Heart On

Did I place the two bands with "Eagles" in the title back to back intentionally? Perhaps subconsciously. It does seem like an awful big coincidence.

Well they're pretty much on opposite ends of the spectrum musically, so the similarities end with that most American of birds. This is dirty, scuzzed out, slut-loving rock music that brings people to the dance floor. Check your class at the door. The EODM make no secret of their love of the Rolling Stones, and the template works perfectly. They sing about L.A., and girls, and tight pants on girls, and with song names like "I'm Your Torpedo," "Cheap Thrills," and "Prissy Prancin," well, you get the idea. Compared with say first release Peace Love Death Metal, these songs are not only given some actual studio glossing, they're also just much better songs. Josh Homme (Queens of the Stone Age) and childhood friend Jesse "The Devil" Hughes (yes, that's his nickname) aspire to have a good time, and it's contagious. Put in on while cruising the highway. Drive really fast.

Highlights: "Anything 'Cept The Truth" "(I Used To Couldn't Dance) Tight Pants" "Cheap Thrills"

#14- Portishead- Third

Those familiar with the trip-hop stylings the band made their name on in the 90's will be in for a surprise. Though groove and rhythm are still strong focal points of this offering, all traces of anything resembling funk are banished. I've always regarded vocalist Beth Gibbons as a feminine parallel to Thom Yorke, and in some senses, you can think of this as a lost Radiohead record... if Radiohead suddenly decided they hated pop music. That's not to say Third is entirely dense. Gibbons' voice alone is enough to earn listeners trust, and just when things begin to grow a trifle too unagreeable, a song like "The Rip" comes along. It begins modestly enough with a pleasant finger picked acoustic arpeggio, only it gradually fades out as that same melodic line is passed to a driving synth as the drums pick up and propel things forward. All the while Gibbons' voice simply floats above the mix, sustaining a single warm note for what seems like a minute before she returns to singing about "Wild, White Horses." If it sounds like heady stuff, well, it is. It's a must hear that requires some patience. Not for sunny days.

Highlights: "The Rip" "Machine Gun" "Magic Doors"

#13- Stephen Malkmus And The Jicks- Real Emotional Trash

Best guitar album of the year. Period. If you like big, fuzzed out, extended guitar theatrics paired with 60's throwback story songs then you've come to the right place. It's packed with the former Pavement front man's vague witticisms. Check the first line from album opener "Dragonfly Pie":

"Of all my stoned digressions, some have mutated into the truth."

Classic Malkmus. Are you entirely certain what it means? Nope. Does it sound cool as shit? Yes. Can you interpret it in a number of ways to fit your own personal experience? Absolutely.

This is jam rock for the indie set. The songs themselves are generally top-notch, packed with secret hooks that will have you humming for days whether you want to or not. There are six tunes over the five minute mark, but most of them stave off boredom thanks to some impeccable musicianship and a chemistry you can hear. The band makes a point never to venture too far from the golden pop structures that render the songs so likable in the first place. Malkmus tosses in a couple of shorter pop gems for good measure, making sure to appease just about everybody. The album's a bit frontloaded, but overall it's just fun as hell. Break out the air guitars.

Standouts: "Dragonfly Pie" "Cold Son" "Baltimore"

#12- Cut Copy- In Ghost Colours

80's new wave meets Chicago house meets synth pop meets modern electro. I know that sounds like a lot, but really, at its core, In Ghost Colours is just a seamless dance record. With a heart. At a time when modern electronic records too often sound cold and over-mechanized, Cut Copy want to hear you to do a little whistling while you shake your ass. These Australians aren't necessarily breaking any new ground, but they take these disparate elements and write mind-numbingly infectious dance rock. This disc came out only a week prior to the previously reviewed M83 release, and I've pretty much paired them with one another all year long. Both capture a distinctly colored, nostalgic summery warmth that was unparalleled in 2008. Again, any contemporary act adopting 80's lyrical and or musical stylings stands a severe risk of conjuring up those cornier, cringe-inducing moments we often associate with the decade. In Ghost Colours is so damn catchy and well-sculpted however, you'll be too giddy to notice.

Highlights: "Feel the Love" "Hearts on Fire" "Far Away"

#11- Kanye West- 808's & Heartbreak

Now if you'd told me several months back that Kanye would go bat shit and make a Phil Collins record, I would have confiscated your meth lab. Had you told me it would subsequently be one of my favorite albums of the year, I would have punched you right in the face. But here we are.

Of course, we're not really talking about a Phil Collins disc here, but Kanye himself has mentioned the man as an influence, and right off the bat, album opener "Say You Will" shares a striking similarity to Collins staple "In the Air Tonight." Obviously there's plenty to talk about with 808's, and for starters I find it necessary to touch on the sheer ballsiness of the thing. Arguably the largest pop star on planet Earth--a rap artist to boot--decides to make a emotionally revealing, spare electro pop record where he sings... despite of course, a complete inability to carry a tune. Say what you want about the man's mammoth ego, but it certainly acts as a perpetually innovative and fearless muse, driving him to take risks with his career that none of his peers dare attempt. In this case he has crafted yet another genre-buster; a record with top 40 appeal that will stand years down the line as a cohesive, artistic statement. This will undoubtedly act as the cult favorite in the West catalogue--a divisive offering that many fans will turn to first when rifling through the IPod.

Of course there are missteps along the way. The seemingly random contribution of an aggressive verse from Young Jeezy during the tail end of "Amazing," essentially the only traditional rap on the entire album, may seem out of place to some. Also, there is the sense that the ubiquitous presence of West chart-toppers "Heartless" and "Love Lockdown" during the recent months may have actually detracted from the overall effect of the album itself. This may say something about the tendency of billboard music purveyors to bombard the public with a shortlist of hits to the point where they lose their shine. More likely however these particular tracks simply don't fit within the overall framework of the album as well as others do.

But yes, they're still great singles.

The fact that 808's & Heartbreak has been able to stir up as much press as its received speaks to West's unparalleled ability as a self-marketer. It is also a testament to Kanye's incessant need to push the boundaries that confine him, and pop music is the better for it.

Standouts: "Welcome to Heartbreak" "Paranoid" "Bad News"

So there you have it. This concludes Part 2. Stay tuned for the top ten.

THE GETTIN' PLACE'S TOP 30 OF '08: PART 1

2008-12-16T21:29:00.022-06:00

You can relax now folks. The definitive list for the best albums of 2008 has finally arrived. Everyone just take a deep breath... that's better.

But in all seriousness, this is always a fun time of year for music lovers.

It's list season b'iotch! (Did I spell that right? I thought the apostrophe really brought something to the table. It stays.)

Not only are such lists entertaining (Who doesn't like a good list? Give me a catalogue of anything ranked in a subjectively derived numerical order and I'm in), but they inevitably lead to some stimulating conversation. Perhaps

most importantly, they're often a great way to find some gnartastic new tuneage that may have alluded you over the course of the last twelve months.

So now The Gettin' Place will throw its hat in the ring.

I will be presenting my 30 favorites of '08 over the next few days, starting with numbers 21-30. I like to think there is something here that everyone can enjoy. Feel free to attack the comments section.

Giddy Up.

#30- The Cool Kids- The Bake Sale EP

This Chicago duo has had a bit of press for some time now (Rolling Stone artists to watch), and you may recognize a couple of joints ("Black Mags" was in a Rhapsody commercial, "88" was in NBA and MLB 2k8). Well if you're not familiar, they're two young Chi-Town gents with a love for bicycles, Sega, and trunk rattling boom-bap beats (throw "One Two" or "Mikey Rocks" on in the whip and turn up those subs... yessssirrr). The EP manages to pay homage to late 80's hip-hop stylings without sounding dated. The lyricism is top-notch, though the subject matter is not your typical rap fare and they certainly don't take themselves too seriously, which is undoubtedly refreshing. And then there's lines like these:

"Midway city is the city where the wind blow, fairly cold, Refrigerator Perry with a little bit o' gold, '85 Bears jersey true blue..."

Good shit.

#29- Justice- A Cross The Universe

Sorry. I can't not include a live Justice album on here. There have been some complaints about the recording method that Xavier and Gaspard utilized (rather than use the soundboard copy of this show from San Francisco, they simply placed mics around the stage) but you know what, I think it works juuuust fine. I have also read that this may not "capture the live Justice experience." Well, some buddies and I had such an experience, and I must say... it sounds about right to me. The roar of the crowd serves as an adrenaline-upper throughout. Why complain about an electronic act that has distinguished and elevated itself from its peers by incorporating hard rock and metal elements into its music for employing a recording approach that may not sound all that pristine? To me, it makes plenty of sense. This is music that does not require perfect acoustics. Blast the shit out of it and you'll understand. Highlights include "Phantom" getting the epic multi-track treatment, "Waters of Nazareth," and a re-working of Soulwax's "NY Excuse."

Throw on some strobes and turn it up to 11.

#28- The Raconteurs- Consolers Of The Lonely

It can be said that Jack White is one of a handful keeping straight up rock records alive and well in these times. Here we have a case in point. This second offering from Mr. White's other band was a pleasant surprise when it dropped seemingly out of nowhere in March, for its impending arrival was announced a mere week prior to its release. There is no shortage of Led Zep inspired songwriting to be certain, but so what? It doesn't sound tired and you don't get the sense that these are merely average tunes dressed up and glossed over. It may not be breaking new ground and it may not change your life, but the hooks are there and the riffs are huge. In the hands of songwriters less capable than Benson and White, this could be dangerous dad-rock territory. Well, thank goodness these two are at the helm, for the final product is a solid no-frills rock disc steeped in consistency and top-notch musicianship.

Standouts: "Consoler of the Lonely" "Top Yourself" "Attention"

#27- Beach House- Devotion

It's the Mates of State on painkillers. Sort of. Call it dream pop, chamber pop, whatever. It's a very subtle and carefully crafted record that can be easily overlooked. The duo rarely sound spare. There are layers and waves of melody here that keep the generally tame instrumentation--chiefly keys, guitar, some bells and a drum machine--from growing boring or stale. With the exception of "Gila" and "Heart of Chambers," none of these songs really stuck with me after first listen. But keep at it. There's some atypical chordal work and great arrangements. It's easy to admire its beauty but another thing entirely to enjoy it. The reverb is thick, so lyrics can be difficult to decipher. If you're like me, that's not a problem, and if you're inclined to learn exactly what is being said, you will be satisfied:

"Sure you've got a handle on the past, it's why you keep your little lovers in your lap, Give a little more than you like..."

Put on some earbuds and listen around bedtime. Add wine for increased enjoyment.

#26- Beck- Modern Guilt

It seems that Beck grows more nihilistic by the day. His albums seem to follow this trend anyhow. Fortunately for us, with emotions like fear, shame, regret, paranoia, and yes, guilt (many of which can be attributed to a certain political era), comes some pretty damn good music. After the lengthy, jumbled The Information, Beck opts for in exercise in conciseness if not brevity. This disc, produced by Danger Mouse, manages a uniform cohesion without sacrificing its eclecticism. The chief subject is essentially the deterioration of the world we inhabit, and while such pessimism can be taxing, the music itself generally manages to overcome any feelings of heavy-handedness or hyper-seriousness. Quite often in fact, it's catchy as hell and downright danceable. After all, this is a Beck record. Think 60's West coast psychedelic folk, crossed with, well, a Danger Mouse track and that's the feel throughout. It's nice to see this kind of focus from Beck. While I appreciate his chameleon-like tendencies, sometimes a uniform sound doesn't hurt. Let's hope he cheers up. Hasn't he heard? Change has come to America!!!... or something like that.

Highlights: "Gamma Ray" "Youthless" "Modern Guilt"

#25- Plants and Animals- Parc Avenue

Yet another indie band from Montreal. I'm not complaining, it's just noteworthy is all. I don't know what they put in the water up there in Canuck land...

This is markedly different from most of the material of the region however. Sort of a Canadian Midlake. These songs unfold slowly. Fuzzy effect-laden guitars, strings, even pedal steel. I'd file this under freak-folk I suppose. You can instantly realize what fantastic music these guys are capable of, and on some later tracks, they lose their way a bit, perhaps indulging a bit too much in some of their jammier tendencies, reveling in their own abilities while leaving the songs behind. No worries though. The misses are minimal, and one gets the sense that this band has the potential to throw a masterpiece together in the not too distant future. Some might even consider Parc Avenue just that in its own right. They might remind some of certain American acts currently dominating the Pacific Northwest (Fleet Foxes, Blitzen Trapper). Expect big things down the line. All in all an underrated, overlooked, and damn fine debut.

Must hear: "Good Friend" "Faerie Dance" "New Kind of Love"

#24- Girl Talk- Feed The Animals

So I imagine most people have been turned on to Greg Gillis, a.k.a. Girl Talk, at this point. A former biomedical engineer turned full time mashup DJ, Girl Talk has been on a roll of late. His performances have reached event status; sweaty dance parties attended by in-the-know hipsters at clubs, concert halls and festivals across the country. And why not? Anyone that can combine, for example, DMX's "Party Up" with Ozzie's "Iron Man," Radiohead's "No Surprises" with a chopped and shifted bit from that "Mambo Italiano" song, or the Beach Boys' "Wouldn't It Be Nice" with The Game and 50's "Hate It Or Love It" with great success should be praised. It's dance music for the ADD crowd. The recognition of all those pop gems new and old will make you smile, and then once you hear them blended seamlessly with everything from indie rock (Grizzly Bear, Peter Bjorn & John) to contemporary crunk bangers, well... the dance party begins. See about midway through "Worth It" when he slowly fades "Bittersweet Symphony" into the mix for such an example.

Listen from start to finish a few times. You'll find your own standouts. They won't last long, but another moment will be just around the bend.

#23- Blitzen Trapper- Furr

Doesn't that just look like an old vinyl cover? It plays like it too, only there's plenty of new ideas that keep this sounding immediate rather than recycled. There are adjustments and modifications to the time-tested formulas of their favorite records (and believe me, these guys have a lot of records). They don't settle for formulaic regurgitation. This is not to say they don't wear their love for Neil Young, Dylan, and the Fab Four on their sleeves, but they borrow the right ideas. They're clever and incredibly tuneful, like "Powerman" era Kinks. The country-tinged stompers are here, as well as the eerie folk ballads (check out the title track, the tale of a boy transformed to a wolf). Great album.

Favorites: "Fire and Fast Bullets" "Saturday Nite" "Black River Killer"

#22- MGMT- Oracular Spectacular

Hands down the indie record this year with the most mainstream appeal. Monstrous hooks will do that for a band. In the case of MGMT, it came primarily in the form of album opener and heavily championed single "Time to Pretend." As it should have. It's a great song. This New York duo drew a wealth of Flaming Lips comparisons when the album was released in January. A penchant for eclectic psychedelia, in both their cover art and the songs themselves was mostly responsible. I could make the argument that the first five tracks of this disc are as good as any sequence of songs released all year. Unfortunately, Oracular is a notably front-loaded endeavor and things slow down a bit after that. Still, with jams like the Jagger-channeling (think "Emotional Rescue") falsetto and strut of "Electric Feel" ("Singin ooh girl, shock me like an electric eel. Baby girl, turn me on with your electric feel." Classic.) to "Kids," the synth- pop, 90's club disco stomper that is as anthemic as it is danceable, MGMT crafted one of the most ambitious debuts of the year.

Standouts: "Time to Pretend" "Electric Feel" "Kids"

#21- Lil Wayne- Tha Carter III

I must admit. It took me quite a while to understand what all the fuss was about. Maybe that's part of the charm of this disc. You certainly can't knock Weezy for playing it safe. This album is all over the place. Top 40 club staples ("Lollipop," "Got Money"), trunk rattlers ("A Milli," "3 Peat"), soul samples ("Mr. Carter," "Let the Beat Build") and that's only half of it. By enlisting an army of different producers with different approaches, similar to Jay-Z on The Black Album, things stay interestingly varied throughout. The unifying aspect of course is Wayne himself. Not only is the lyricism incredibly clever and refreshingly unique ("I ain't kinda hot I'm sauna, I sweat money and the bank is my shower, and that pistol is my towel, so stop sweatin' me coward"), but his ability to manipulate his voice, both with and without the aid of effects, allows him a versatility most rappers simply don't have at their disposal. If you appreciate rap or hip-hop to any degree, you will find something to appreciate on The Carter III. The more I throw it on, the more that list of tracks grows.

Highlights: "A Milli" "Mr. Carter" "Shoot Me Down" "Tie My Hands"

So that concludes Part One of our Best of 2008 here at The Gettin' Place. Feel free to debate, criticize, or even agree in the comments section below. Or, if you just wanna say hi, that'd be neat too.

Stay tuned for Part Two, numbers 11-20.

Really Vinny?

2008-12-14T23:50:00.000-06:00

Really?

DJ Mehdi Feat. Chromeo- "I Am Somebody"

2008-12-12T23:39:00.002-06:00

Fun video from Ed Banger records' (you know, that label which some french dudes named Justice call home) DJ Mehdi, featuring everyone's favorite Canadian duo.

New Warren Miller Clip Set To Weezer

2008-12-11T01:50:00.007-06:00

Nebraska? Really?

Hey Brahs! Peep this! Here's a video from the new Warren Miller flick, Children of Winter, set to "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" off of Weezer's most recent Red Album.

Now personally, despite having spent a good four years in Boulder, I never, how do you say, went skiing. Or snowboarding.

It's against my Midwestern values. Plus, I have poor small motor skills. Let's leave it at that.

Anyways, I never got the brahtastic appeal of these snow movies or whatever the kids call them these days. There's some pretty cool shots here though, I guess.

Though there is this one brohime right around the 1:12 mark...

"Skiing has ruined many of my relationships. Most girls can't ski powder..."

God I hate you.

Regardless, the clip is fairly gnarls in charge. One might even have a craving for a Gnarleston Chew Bar while watching. So dopen your mind bro! (that was originally a typo, but I decided to leave it. I think I've created some fun new slang.)

Here she is.

"The Wrestler"

2008-12-11T01:11:00.001-06:00

Oscar buzz behind this one. Nice to see a new spin on a classic formula.

A Confederacy of Dunces

2008-12-09T21:02:00.009-06:00

I am still struggling to decide what sort of tone to adopt for this post. The way I see it, there are two viable options:

1.) Rant and rave. Fling expletives and insults at the Veteran's Committee. Swear a whole bunch. Call them names. Like stupid.

2.) Opt for the "logical" or "appropriate" approach. Stick to the facts. Criticize, but maintain a careful journalistic objectivity. Praise Ron rather than drag the Committee through the dirt.

Well, I often have trouble making decisions when multiple options are in front of me. Large dinner menus give me severe anxiety. There's too many choices dammit.

I take long. I get yelled at. This happens constantly.

Considering this situation allows me a flexibility that no Thai menu can guarantee... I choose both. So let me start by saying this:

Attention:

Hank Aaron, Sparky Anderson, Luis Aparicio, Ernie Banks, Johnny Bench, Yogi Berra, Wade Boggs, George Brett, Lou Brock, Jim Bunning, Rod Carew, Steve Carlton, Gary Carter, Orlando Cepeda, Bobby Doerr, Dennis Eckersley, Bob Feller, Rollie Fingers, Carlton Fisk, Whitey Ford, Bob Gibson, Goose Gossage, Tony Gwynn, Monte Irvin, Reggie Jackson, Fergie Jenkins, Al Kaline, George Kell, Harmon Killebrew, Ralph Kiner, Sandy Koufax, Tommy Lasorda, Lee MacPhail, Juan Marichal, Willie Mays, Bill Mazeroski, Willie McCovey, aul Molitor, Joe Morgan, Eddie Murray, Stan Musial, Phil Niekro, Jim Palmer, Tony Perez, Gaylord Perry, Cal Ripken Jr., Robin Roberts, Brooks Robinson, Frank Robinson, Nolan Ryan, Ryne Sandberg, Mike Schmidt, Red Schoendienst, Tom Seaver, Ozzie Smith, Duke Snider, Bruce Sutter, Don Sutton, Earl Weaver, Billy Williams, Dick Williams, Dave Winfield, Robin Yount, Carl Yastrzemski

39.1% of you are stupid.

39.1% of those names I just HAND-FUCKING-TYPED (stupid blogger copy and paste function... bet you didn't count on my overwhelming tenacity... I'm an American, dammit, it's in my nature) are conceited, arrogant, self-centered pricks with extra tiny wieners (journalistic integrity is now no longer a possibility.)

Of course Ernie, Ryno, Fergie, and Billy are all innocent. You were included simply for continuity's sake guys, my apologies. Blame some of your committee members. Like Mike Schmidt. Who's stupid and dumb and ugly and probably gay.

And perhaps some of this is a satirical take on the prevalence of childish name-calling in contemporary sports media.

Or maybe Mike Schmidt's just a big douche-head, I don't know.

Moving on to Ron. I've heard plenty of perfectly legitimate arguments by former players, sportswriters, and fans in Ron's favor. One I found particularly essential was the Top 10 argument.

Now, in this "Hall of Fame," you would figure they would make it a major priority to include, say, the ten best players from each individual position that the game has seen in it's 139 year history. Does that sound logical to you? It certainly does to me.

Can you name ten better third basemen than Santo?

Can you name seven?

And how many of them had to go against guys like Koufax and Marichal (Santo's career line against Juan: .296 BA, 7 HR's 18 RBI in 115 AB's)?

Then there's the whole, you know, debilitating disease thing...

This entire debacle has just become so damn political, so... cliquey.

It's like a fucking episode of Saved By The Bell for God's sake. Maybe 90210? Degrassi?

What does Ronnie have to do to be one of the cool kids?

Did all those heel clicks really hurt their feelings?

I read Rick Morissey's take on all this, and as played out as the bittersweet misery that is Cubdom may be, the idea that Ronnie is the epitome of this ideal is somewhat valid. However that is not the central issue in my mind.

The central issue, or at least what should matter at the end of the day, is that from a purely statistical standpoint, there is NO FUCKING WAY to justify keeping this man out of Cooperstown! It makes no SENSE!!!

Read this explanation by famed baseball historian Bill James and you will understand.

So help me God, if these fucks sit on their thumbs until Ronnie passes and then decide to vote him in...

It's despicable. There's just so much to disagree with. Jim Gordon, the Yankee second baseman who was just voted in? The almost unanimous consensus was that the man deserves to be there. Has deserved to be there.

He has been dead for thirty years.

Thirty Years!!! Why, pray tell, was it necessary to wait all this time?

I can't help but recall Harry's Caray's old vow: Cooperstown while I'm alive or leave me out.

The Veteran's Committee has plenty to learn.

Stop staring at yourselves in the mirror, take that sign off your treehouse, and give Ron Santo what he deserves for God's sake.

And give it to him while he's still here to see it.

Not exactly objective I suppose, but I gave it a shot.

Sure To Be A Classic

2008-12-09T01:01:00.003-06:00

Well, on a lighter note, while I continue to gather my fury for the impending Santo Hall of Fame denial rant, I will post this SNL digital short which is certainly right up there with "Dick In A Box" and "Lazy Sunday" as far as I'm concerned. I wasn't expecting the chorus the first time it came... hilarious.

Plus, Jamie Lynn is involved... giddy up.

Common Feat. Cee-Lo- "Make My Day"

2008-12-08T12:19:00.002-06:00

A Good Summertime Tune.

Sign Me Up

2008-12-06T13:45:00.001-06:00

Right around the 3:53 mark, I was sold.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Fujiya & Miyagi- "Sore Thumb"

2008-12-06T12:41:00.004-06:00

Reminds me of the Sega days.

New Eminem- "Number One"

2008-12-05T15:53:00.003-06:00

Slowly and surely, new Marshall tunes are starting to surface. The first and last verses on this track were written by Em for Dre to spit. The middle verse is Em's own. Gives you an interesting perspective on how talented, chameleon-like Mr. Mathers can be. The production is by Dre of course, and it's instantly recognizable with hooky piano keys and some thundering bass.

Listen here.

Colbert Does It Again

2008-12-05T15:37:00.002-06:00

I take it back. It appears "Operation: Humble Kanye" was a smashing sucess after all. How foolish of me to doubt Colbert nation. This is pretty God damn funny. Here's hoping Yeezy recognizes it's all in good fun and comes on The Report.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Operation Humble Kanye - Stephen Beats Kanye

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

New "Friday the 13th"

2008-12-05T01:08:00.002-06:00

Looks like Jason's getting the "Texas Chainsaw" treatment. I for one, will make a point to see this.

chee-chee-chee...ka-ka-ka...

Those were supposed to like, be the scary movie sounds or whatever...

You know what I meant.

"Che" Trailer

2008-12-05T00:54:00.004-06:00

Run and get your posters, patches, and t-shirts, it's every college student's favorite revolutionary, and now he's got his own biopic!

Benicio does look pretty badass though.

Gnarls Barkley- "Who's Gonna Save My Soul"

2008-12-04T12:25:00.003-06:00

Not a huge Gnarls fan (though I am, like every true American, a huge Charles Barkley fan), but this is the most original video I've seen in many a moon. There is a bit of blood involved, so if that makes you squeamish, steer clear.

Stephen Colbert Wags Finger At Kanye

2008-12-03T15:56:00.003-06:00

This is pretty funny. However, I doubt "Operation: Humble Kanye" will be much of a success (though Britney has taken over at #1).

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Operation Humble Kanye

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

"Brooklyn Go Hard" Video

2008-12-02T23:57:00.004-06:00

Interesting video for the recently released track. It's by director Evan Wright and it uses typography to form collage-like images of Jay and Big.

Jay-Z on iLike - Get updates inside iTunes

"I Want You To Know That Trees!!!"

2008-12-02T14:36:00.002-06:00

My God these people suck. Now let us laugh at their expense.

D-Rose Breaking Ankles

2008-12-02T11:35:00.001-06:00

For those of you who didn't see this, here's Derrick crossing over Andre Miller in devastating fashion.

Jay-Z ft. Santogold- "Brooklyn Go Hard"

2008-12-01T13:20:00.005-06:00

This new Yeezy produced track will be on the soundtrack for the new Notorious movie documenting the life of B.I.G. The song is centered around a Santogold sample much like "Swagger Like Us" used the M.I.A. vocal as its basis. I think this tune is a winner. The hook by Kanye is a good one and Hova kills it throughout, especially when he adopts a Caribbean style for the first verse.

Enjoy.

Shitshow: Vikings 34, Bears 14

2008-12-01T00:38:00.006-06:00

The highlight of Sunday night's divisional showdown?

No, it was not an electrifying Devin Hester return or a juke-littered Matt Forte touchdown scamper. Neither were anywhere to be found. Instead, the chief highlight came from the broadcast booth in the form of one of John Madden's all-time most hilarious quotes:

Big John confidently asserted that "Charles Tillman is one of the best strippers in the National Football League."

May I make a request? When Madden inevitably passes and they start to roll out the highlight compilation videos, can that soundbite serve as the finale to each and every montage? I vote yes. I believe he later claimed that Adrian Peterson "is the type of player a Coach wants to take home with him." Christ John, take it easy. Maybe sit the next few plays out? I was waiting for something along the lines of "Jared Allen strikes me as the type of guy who has an enormous penis." Certainly a little more blatant, but I can't say I would have been surprised. Just imagine if Jason Witten had been involved in this contest. The booth would have been stickier than that internet trailer where Randy Marsh was attacked by the spooky ghost.

My second proposition: From this point forward, any Madden commentated telecast must contain a minimum of three awkward, accidental sexual-innuendo puns. Somebody needs to write this into his contract.

Moving Forward.

As for the game? Biggest loss of the season. It's rare when you can legitimately say that a game is lost in the second quarter, but that's where I stand with tonight's disaster. Is anyone else starting to lose their patience with the Lovie Smith perpetually-furrowed-brow-confusion face? I certainly am. Every fucking time after something atrocious goes down or he makes another boneheaded decision, they pan right to him.

I better stand here and look mildly displeased. Maybe I should walk over this way? Yes, let's try that. Oh I wonder if they have me on the jumbotron? Crap there I am. Suppose I better walk back over this way. Just keep furrowing that brow. There we go, nice and wrinkled. Now squint a little and look off into the stands like there's something there I should be looking at... good, that's better. Better adjust my headset. Okay, and now for the crossing of the arms... Alrighty, looking good! Gotta keep cool, stay collected. Must maintain that composure.

The following things were all terribly wrong with that little coaching clinic put on toward the end of the second half:

1. Take the field goal for fuck's sake. How many times have we watched teams try and "impose their will" or "set the tone" by running it up the middle on goal line fourth downs this year only to fail miserably? Seriously, I would like to see that stat.

2.) Perhaps some kind of pass play might be in order against arguably the best goal line run stuffing team in football?

3.) I know what we need! Let's run a fullback dive with Jason Davis- you know, that guy we signed off the practice squad yesterday? Yes, I can see it now. We'll run him right up the middle against those Williamses everyone is always carrying on about. Why? Because we come off the bus running that's why.

Then came the terrible zone defense by Babich and a crap coverage read from Tillman that left Berrian wide open on a streak down the sideline. And that was it. A 14 point swing, the longest pass play in Vikes history, and a dagger right in the throat of any and all momentum we had established. Sure it didn't help that Kyle had a very poor outing and that the defense continues to be fisted by AP with no remorse (insert Madden sex joke), but I am convinced we were doomed the minute Berrian crossed the end zone.

That's all for now.

Now watch how many times Madden manages to say "bootleg" in this video from Superbowl XL. In the second part alone, he actually utters the word "bootleg" 7 times in 18 seconds. I am convinced this word has now lost all meaning for me, however I now find it infinitely more amusing and will probably laugh from now on anytime someone mentions anything about a "bootleg" or any "bootleg" related activities:

Wednesday Is Garbage Day

2008-11-26T00:32:00.003-06:00

Wednesday, at least here in the Land of Lincoln, is garbage day. What perfect timing. Here's a movie clip that always brings a bit of joy to my life:

Watch This At Least Ten Times

2008-11-23T21:15:00.003-06:00

Props to Finkel on this gem:

Star Trek Trailer

2008-11-20T13:14:00.000-06:00

St
by videos22

Kanye- Sky High (Remix Album)

2008-11-18T15:01:00.004-06:00

Head over to this link at Pitchfork to stream the whole Sky High remix compilation.

A great party album.

Dempster Signed!

2008-11-18T14:22:00.006-06:00

Some good news after this whole Kerry Wood debacle.

Today the Cubs inked Ryan Dempster to a four year, $52 million deal.

Good for Demp and good for the Cubs. After seeing Woody takeoff, it was nice to retain Dempster who is perhaps our best clubhouse presence. Funny, gracious, kindhearted, great work ethic. The kind of guy you want on your ballclub.

Every year I have worked the Ron Santo Golf Experience for Juvenile Diabetes, Dempster has not only shown up, but been incredibly amicable to everyone in attendance, whether staff or participants. This last year he came and played despite having pitched an eight inning gem the night before which completed the Wrigley sweep of the South Siders.

When I met him for the first time briefly at the event in '05, he took up my autograph request with a "Sure, dude," and game me a very humble "Thanks buddy" after I complemented the season he was having.

All character issues aside, the guy had a great year. Our most consistent arm all season. I for one was skeptical when Lou decided to go with him in the rotation over Lieber. Shows what I know.

I leave you with Demp doing his Harry Caray impersonation at Spring Training in Mesa:

Coldplay feat. Jay-Z- Lost +

2008-11-18T14:10:00.002-06:00

Donovan McNabb Unaware Of The Existence Of Ties

2008-11-17T14:49:00.003-06:00

My favorite part is the follow up question of one of the reporters.

"You seriously didn't know that? You thought there was like another overtime or something?"

Woody Says He "Would Have Done Anything" To Remain In Chicago

2008-11-17T13:28:00.003-06:00

Well what initially seemed to be a sad but arguably necessary financial move in letting Kid K depart continues to seem like more of a head-scratcher.

Yes, had Kerry demanded a 3+ year deal it probably would've been time to say goodbye. But here he comes out and says essentially he would have accepted a one year offer at a hometown discount?

What the shit Hendry?

You don't even make an offer? Instead you send Jose Ceda (our #3 prospect according to Baseball Prospectus) over to Florida for Kevin Gregg, who we all remember had his dreams crushed by Daryle Ward last August.

Woody was, and is, the consummate professional. The face of the franchise. As good a character guy as you'll find. This is very disheartening.

If what seems set in stone does indeed come to pass then good luck Kerry. You will be missed.

Here is the link to the article.

Jamie Foxx Destroys Unfunny Cliched Black Comedian

2008-11-16T21:24:00.002-06:00

Brutal and hilarious.

Bill Burr Questions Blind Man's Blindness

2008-11-16T16:40:00.001-06:00

I saw him my freshman year at Boulder and it was God Damn hysterical. If you get the chance, go see him.

GIRAFFES!

2008-11-12T02:28:00.002-06:00

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That...

2008-11-09T20:26:00.001-06:00

Smart

2008-11-09T20:21:00.001-06:00

New Jay-Z

2008-11-07T14:49:00.002-06:00

Song is "History." Assumedly this would be on The Blueprint 3. Personally I am not a fan. However, that could have something to do with this ripped version being littered with the most annoying DJ drops imaginable. Here she is.

New Common

2008-11-07T14:45:00.002-06:00

Song called "Changes" off the new Universal Mind Control LP. Seems pretty average to me. You can take a stab at what the song might be about... perhaps... change?

Here's the link from Kanye's blog.

Kid Rock Was Raised By Bald Eagles

2008-11-06T17:51:00.005-06:00

I feel like Kid Rock ripped this straight out of Team America. Simply stunning. Good thing they threw Dale Jr. in there just for the hell of it. I have to ask...

Where's Brett Favre? And where, pray tell, are the Wrangler jeans? I DEMAND Wrangler jeans. Perhaps they should consider changing their company name to freedom? As in, "Hey Kid Rock, are those freedom jeans you're wearing?"

And don't say I don't support the troops for God's sake. It's just an absolutely ridiculous song and an equally ridiculous video.

"CAUSE FREEDOM AIN'T SO FREEEEEE WHEN YOU BREATH RED WHITE ANNDDDDD BLUUUUUE!"

That's just good writing... that's all that is.

Eagles of Death Metal- Wannabe in L.A.

2008-11-05T21:41:00.002-06:00

New album Heart On out now. Go get it.

Coconut Records- West Coast

2008-11-05T14:49:00.002-06:00

A cool video from Jason Schwartzman's new band Coconut Records. The featured skateboarder is Mark Gonzales and the location is Germany. The latter half was recorded inside the Stadtisches Museum Abteilberg.

Bearded One: "I'm Hoping I Don't Miss Any Time"

2008-11-05T14:14:00.004-06:00

Take a deep sigh of relief everyone. The Jack Daniels Destroyer is gonna be alllllrrrrriiiiiggght.

It is an ankle sprain, nothing more. Orton remains optimistic that he could play this week against Tennessee.

"I'm certainly not ruling out anything," was his message at Halas Hall earlier today.

My vote, and the general consensus, is to let Grossman face that undefeated Titan defense this Sunday. Let Kyle heal up and get ready to take it to the cheese-gobblers in a couple weeks.

Thought This Was Appropriate

2008-11-05T14:05:00.000-06:00

A Momentous Day For America

2008-11-04T23:46:00.005-06:00

A very special night. We should all be proud on a number of levels.

We. As in everyone who loves this country.

I could write pages on this but I'm going to refrain. I don't like to delve into my personal politics very frequently and at a time such as this, it won't be necessary. The words, images, videos; they all speak for themselves.

Much has been made of Senator Obama's oratorial gifts over the recent months and even years. Well they were on full display for all of the world tonight. The best speech I have experienced in my lifetime. Truly moving stuff made all the more poignant by the faces of those who watched from Grant Park and all throughout the entire country.

Below is the written transcript and the video:

Hello, Chicago.

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen, by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different, that their voices could be that difference.

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states.

We are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It's the answer that led those who've been told for so long by so many to be cynical and fearful and doubtful about what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this date in this election at this defining moment change has come to America.

A little bit earlier this evening, I received an extraordinarily gracious call from Sen. McCain.

Sen. McCain fought long and hard in this campaign. And he's fought even longer and harder for the country that he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine. We are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader.

I congratulate him; I congratulate Gov. Palin for all that they've achieved. And I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart, and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on the train home to Delaware, the vice president-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

And I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation's next first lady Michelle Obama.

Sasha and Malia I love you both more than you can imagine. And you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the new White House.

And while she's no longer with us, I know my grandmother's watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight. I know that my debt to them is beyond measure.

To my sister Maya, my sister Alma, all my other brothers and sisters, thank you so much for all the support that you've given me. I am grateful to them.

And to my campaign manager, David Plouffe, the unsung hero of this campaign, who built the best -- the best political campaign, I think, in the history of the United States of America.

To my chief strategist David Axelrod who's been a partner with me every step of the way.

To the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you've sacrificed to get it done.

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to. It belongs to you. It belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington. It began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston. It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give $5 and $10 and $20 to the cause.

It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep.

It drew strength from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on doors of perfect strangers, and from the millions of Americans who volunteered and organized and proved that more than two centuries later a government of the people, by the people, and for the people has not perished from the Earth.

This is your victory.

And I know you didn't do this just to win an election. And I know you didn't do it for me.

You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime -- two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century.

Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us.

There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after the children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage or pay their doctors' bills or save enough for their child's college education.

There's new energy to harness, new jobs to be created, new schools to build, and threats to meet, alliances to repair.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there.

I promise you, we as a people will get there.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can't solve every problem.

But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it's been done in America for 221 years -- block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

What began 21 months ago in the depths of winter cannot end on this autumn night.

This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were.

It can't happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice.

So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other.

Let us remember that, if this financial crisis taught us anything, it's that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers.

In this country, we rise or fall as one nation, as one people. Let's resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long.

Let's remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House, a party founded on the values of self-reliance and individual liberty and national unity.

Those are values that we all share. And while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress.

As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.

And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces, to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world, our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand.

To those -- to those who would tear the world down: We will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security: We support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright: Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.

That's the true genius of America: that America can change. Our union can be perfected. What we've already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight's about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing: Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons -- because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America -- the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs, a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination.

And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change.

Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves -- if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment.

This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.

Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America.

Voter Commits Voter Fraud, Tells World

2008-11-04T21:53:00.002-06:00

Big ups to Mark for pointing this out.

It's That Time Again

2008-11-04T18:44:00.003-06:00

In honor of the temporary return of everyone's favorite lazer launching rocket blaster, here is the famed Rex Grossman "Fuck It I'm Throwing Downfield" inner monologue.

Hurry back Oh Bearded One. Don't drink any gatorade handed to you by Rexy.

And lock your doors, dammit.

Because the Tyrannosauras is watching...

Yeah, I see Jones open on the flank. But fuck that. Dumpoff passes are for faggots. I’m fucking Sexy Rexy Grossman. I can get that ball in there. And, even if I can’t, I bet I’ll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like throwing the ball long. It makes my dick hard.

What’s that? I should throw a quick slant? Fuck that. That’s gay. Button hook? Gay. Flare out? Gay. Screen pass? Kevin Spacey gay. This is fucking football. You can’t just expect wins to come to you. You can’t massage that shit. You gotta grab that game by the throat and rape the ever-loving shit out of it. You think a 5-yard out is gonna win you a game? You’re a pussy. This ain’t John Shoop running this offense. Sexy Rexy’s got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.

Okay, I’m throwing it. Nice. Look how far it went. I look good. I bet I made that Pats cheerleader wet her panties with that throw. She fucking wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.

Oh shit. Looks like Samuel caught it. Again. Oh well. It still felt fucking great to throw that shit. Tell me that wasn’t one of the prettiest passes you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna throw it long the next time we hit the field. I’m gonna throw it even longer. Harder. You see that kid in wheelchair sitting in the end zone bleachers? I’m gonna nail him right between the fucking eyes with a Sexy Rexy fastball. Why? Because I can.

This is Rex Grossman we’re talking about here. We’re talking 210 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I’m not just a gunslinger. I’m a cumslinger. Throwing that ball long tells all the Rexettes that I am fucking out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I’ll tease them with a pretty touch pass every now and again. But then I’m gonna go right back to pumping that ball out for all it's worth. It tells them I throw like I fuck. That's how we do things in the sexy business.

Tell me you're not turned on right now. I am.

New Lebron Ad With Weezy

2008-11-04T18:25:00.001-06:00

Short but sweet.

An Old Classic

2008-10-31T15:06:00.002-05:00

Those Star Wars puppy costumes reminded me of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and his day spent waiting in line for Attack of the Clones. I am convinced this will never stop being hilarious.

Happy Halloween

2008-10-31T13:32:00.000-05:00

New Wilco on Colbert Last Night!

2008-10-31T13:09:00.004-05:00

This seems to be a new song entitled, well, "Wilco the Song."

Musically, this has the souring feedback-driven guitar lead that I have become so enamored with (see: "Handshake Drugs"). The potential for this to be stretched out live is HUGE.

Lyrically, Tweedy offers a reassuring chorus of "Wilco will love you baby," quite literally declaring that the band will be there to provide comfort when you fall on tough times.

Watch for yourself:

Phillies Win World Series or Whatever

2008-10-29T22:22:00.006-05:00

Hooray...

Congrats on ending that devastating 28 year drought...

But in all seriousness, they were the far better team. They demonstrated solid plate discipline, waiting out some shaky starting pitching from the Rays in order to set up plenty of ideal hitters counts. Remind you of an approach some other team took for most of the regular season?...

Their pitching was great all around (Cheers to the ageless Jamie Moyer). Cole Hamels is gonna be special for a long time to come.

And what can you say about Brad Lidge? Easily one of, if not the best season a closer has had in this league since the role became prominent.

As for the Rays, I guess the dream had to die somewhere. Seems as though their youth and inexperience may have finally caught up with them. After that crushing game 3 loss, they really started pressing.

Thus ends the '08 season. On to free agency!

John Daly Apprehended Shitfaced Outside Hooters

2008-10-29T22:01:00.006-05:00

Is there really anything I can say that the headline doesn't articulate perfectly?

No. No there's not.

John Daly was arrested blackout drunk outside of a Hooters.

In other news, the sky is blue.

BAM!

I couldn't help myself.

Here are the details of the story if you're interested. Personally, I prefer to let my imagination fill in the blanks.

Here's JD playing a round with no shirt and no shoes.

A great American if you ask me.

Red Fang- Prehistoric Dog

2008-10-29T15:04:00.002-05:00

Finally a video that combines beer, vomiting, medieval warfare and severed limbs (Well I guess those last two kind of go hand in hand).

If you're playing at home, try and shotgun one every time they do.

Beck- Gamma Ray

2008-10-29T14:39:00.001-05:00

Trippy Brah.

Beck - Gamma Ray

The Future is Now

2008-10-28T23:23:00.006-05:00

YEEESSSSSSIR!

A few conclusions after watching tonight's game:

1.) Derrick Rose is going to be better, faster, than anyone anticipated.

Game 1 Line: 11 pts. 9 asts. 4 reb. 3 stl.

Finally the Bulls have a freakish athlete touching the ball on a constant basis. All you had to do was watch him take that crossover to Luke Ridnour's terrified ass to realize how good this guy is gonna be. Fucking Exciting. Can't wait to see the development... Oh and when he came out during the opening ceremony to that deafening roar? "ATTTTT GUUARRRRRRDDD, FRROOOOOOMMMMM CHIIICAAGOOOOOO..." A beautiful thing. I got the chills.

2.) Either Ty Thomas suddenly learned how to play basketball or Scott Skiles and Jim Boylan were injecting him with some kind of bad character guy serum for 2 years. He was brilliant tonight. His line (in a game high 41 minutes by the way):

15 pts. (5/10 FG) 10 reb. 3 asts. 2 stls. 1 block

These stats don't even include all of the hustle plays and intangible things he contributed. If he can maintain something close to this level throughout the season, lookout...

3.) Vinny Del Negro. Hey, I like him!

I realize this is all a bit ridiculous after game 1, but seriously. I liked the ball movement. I LOVED that we had 44 attempts at the line. And I think he's doing a great job evaluating his talent.

CROWN HIM!

Not quite, but Hell, good stuff tonight.

4.) Final D-Rose note:

All of those complaining about him not being a shooter? Just wait. That will come sooner than you think. I see him developing into a D-Wade type in that regard in the foreseeable future.

Finally, for your viewing pleasure, watch him drop 30 on the Mavs (10/21):

Light-Hearted Moments with Dikembe Mutombo

2008-10-28T12:19:00.003-05:00

This will thaw even the most frozen of hearts. Dikembe is a ray of sunshine. Who knew he was a scratch golfer and a natural bowler?

Big Ups to Johnny 5 for sharing this:

Selig Follow-Up

2008-10-28T12:04:00.002-05:00

Well, Bud apparently changed the five inning official game rule right before the start of last night's contest. Being the jolly prankster that he is however, he decided to keep it a secret from as many people as possible!

Silly Bud, you got us this time!

Most of the players and all of the viewing public had no idea. I guess the commish figured it was unnecessary to verbalize such a trivial, inconsequential policy change. Here are some noteworthy quotes:

Starting Pitcher Scott Kazmir: "I thought after five innings it was done and over and we don't continue the game."

David Price: "We thought we had to score a run. That's kind of garbage because people start to press, you know... it should be done a little bit better than that."

Brad Lidge: "They didn't tell anyone."

Oh but no worries, apparently Joe Maddon was "pretty confident," that the game wouldn't be allowed to end unfinished. Well that's a relief!

Of course this only amplifies the "Why even start the game?" and "Why not stop the game earlier?" questions, but you already know that. This article will give you the details.

Bud Selig Finally Able to Take Long, Deep Breath

2008-10-27T22:06:00.007-05:00

Stop me if you've heard this before.

Anyone recall that All-Star Game debacle from earlier this year? I'm not complaining about the quality of that contest. It was top-notch. But it came dangerously close to being a massive conundrum. Yes the managers were very frivolous with their respective pitching staffs, but ultimately, that incident was yet another testament to the need to put an end to this absurd World Series home field advantage experiment. Common sense tells us it is a stupid rule. An unfair, and shameless ploy to increase All-Star game buzz and television ratings.

But as we have learned over the years, common sense is often glaringly absent from the world of Major League Baseball.

Many of the game's eccentricities remain charming if not entirely necessary. I for one am against the idea of a computerized strike zone. Perhaps nostalgia, and the incessant romanticism that baseball embodies may at times trump reason and logic. You know what? I'm fine with that. Most of the time anyway (although I admit it's easier to be accepting when viewing the playoff stage from a distance... an infinitely torturous distance...). The human error debate will continue to surface perennially as the other major American sports adopt more advanced replay policies. And it should. Isn't the idea to get the call right, no matter what path is taken to arrive at the proper conclusion?

In most sports, yes.

But hey, in a sport with no time limit whatsoever--forget periods, quarters and halves 'cause we're talking no written time rules, at all--there's simply no time for a bunch of men to take a siesta in order to gather around a TV with a tarp over it and peruse through game film.

Consider the following:

-No time limit for the pitcher between pitches

-No time limit for the batter between stepping in and out of the box

-No limit to the number of mound visits

-No set limit as to how long those mound visits can be

- If an infielder feels so inclined, he can stop by for a chat too. Hell, why not the entire infield? Hey guys! Get in here!

-No limit to the number of times a pitcher can throw to any bag. Even if no one was on base I doubt anyone would raise much of a fuss if a pitcher decided to toss over to third, just to be cute.

-And last but not least, there is no designated limit to the amount of time Lou Pineilla is granted to walk out on to the diamond, in any capacity... and then return to the dugout. He just waltzes over heeeeerrrree, and he waltzes over theeeeeeeeeere. It's a delightful promenade! Personally, I don't mind 'cause he struts like a champion, but I could see how less understanding individuals might be frustrated.

You get the point. I'm not saying all of these things should be regulated. I'm simply pointing out that baseball is often a very long, very tedious game. In a season where we were alerted that umpiring crews were being instructed to speed up the pace of play and showed (cough, understatement) a lack of results... well, you can imagine what a full-scale replay system would do to the game.

This however brings me to my next point.

When umpiring is as piss poor as has been displayed in this World Series, the outcry for replay will continue to gain steam. These guys have, simply put, been a joke. The list of blown calls is long. Tonight's strikezone was atrocious. I just don't understand how this happens. In theory, these are supposed to be the highest-graded and most respected umpires in the league are they not? So is that system flawed or have they all decided to take a collective vacation from paying attention...

And at this point my original thoughts have devolved into a rant.

My initial subject was that similar to the All-Star game situation earlier this year, Bud Selig Inc. were let off the hook, in this case after Carlos Pena was able to tie the game with a two out single in the middle of a torrential downpour.

Does anyone want to hypothesize what the overall public reception--not to mention the media reaction--would have been had the World Series been called with 3 innings to play?

Are you shitting me?

From either a Rays or Phils fan perspective, the outrage would have been unparalleled. For the Rays, well, no explanation necessary. And for Phillies fans? They would have been plagued for the rest of time with a feeling of incomplete satisfaction. They would have been infinitely chided with "What If" and "You didn't really win the World Series 'cause you never finished game 5" diatribes for the remainder of history.

So Bud, some advice:

-End this All-Star Game experiment. It is foolish, unnecessary, unfair and ridiculous.

-Amend the "official game" rainout ruling for the playoffs, especially the fucking World Series. I mean, who are you kidding?

-This is a big one: If you're going to institute this "official game" policy in the World Series, YOU BETTER MAKE DAMN WELL SURE THAT YOU CAN FINISH THE FUCKING GAME BEFORE YOU START IT. DEAR LORD!!

Does anyone else feel like Mugatu in Zoolander?

"I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS!"

(Please keep in mind this rant is concerning a playoff series that does NOT involve the Chicago Cubs. You can only imagine the violent and hateful filth I would spew if such an improbable situation would actually come to fruition. That's right, I'm still bitter. Deal with it.)

Sigh.

That is all.

This Will Blow You Away

2008-10-24T23:05:00.004-05:00

Well, the emails have been pouring in. The people have spoken.

What is it this website needs to attain ultimate success?

Monkeys doing people stuff.

So at Morgan's behest, I give you a group of incredibly talented ice-skating primates:

Mos Def- Life In Marvelous Times

2008-10-24T14:31:00.002-05:00

So here's a streaming version of the new Mos Def single, "Life in Marvelous Times," which will be on the upcoming album The Ecstatic.

Mighty Mos has a serious electro-house feel going here. Looks like Kanye really excited some of his peers with Graduation cuts like "Stronger" and "Flashing Lights."

In my opinion, this is far superior to Common's new dance track, "Universal Mind Control."

There's some Rocky-training-montage horns surfacing through all the synth fuzz. Definitely a good song to run to.

Enjoy.

More Upright Citizens Brigade

2008-10-23T22:26:00.001-05:00

The Poo Stick:

Ass Pennies

2008-10-23T22:08:00.003-05:00

The Human Giant videos reminded me of the criminally under-appreciated Upright Citizens Brigade. Here is the classic Ass Pennies sketch:

More Human Giant

2008-10-23T21:03:00.001-05:00

This show cracks me up.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Will Arnett and Human Giant

2008-10-23T20:39:00.000-05:00

Finkel, this one's for you.

See more Will Arnett videos at Funny or Die

You Want Napkins?

2008-10-23T19:40:00.001-05:00

See more Adam "Ghost Panther" McKay videos at Funny or Die

Free Wilco DL

2008-10-23T15:57:00.005-05:00

For a few weeks now, Wilco has offered a recording of them performing Bob Dylan's "I Shall Be Released" with Fleet Foxes. It's free.

The catch you ask?

Pledge to vote.

Here's the link.

In other Wilco news, the latest issue of Rolling Stone--you know, the one with Barak Obama on the cover for what seems like the 17th time--is reporting the band has some demos laid down and is marching into the Loft to start recording the new disc. Here's what Nels Cline had to say:

"Sonically it's going to be a much wilder, much more unexpected record. There's going to be too much to choose from. Right now it's an embarrassment of riches, for sure."

An embarrassment of Wilco riches? Too much Wilco to choose from? Sonically wild and unexpected?

Sign me up!

Imagine if this was done in time for Spring... how glorious would that be?

Here's hoping it is.

Backstreet Boys Sing National Anthem

2008-10-22T19:20:00.003-05:00

At game 1 of the World Series?

BOOOOOOOOOOO!!

BOO I SAY!

Who the fuck made this happen? Whoever they are, their knees deserve a good breaking.

Nothing like running the Backstreet Boys out there to represent America's pastime and the Good Ole U S of A!!

Fucking BOOOOOO!!!!!

Actually, it sounded pretty good.

BUT STILL!

That is all.

Merriweather Post Pavillion Album Cover

2008-10-22T17:11:00.003-05:00

Even if you don't care for Animal Collective, you must appreciate this album cover.

Why?

Because it's hellaa trippy that's why.

It took me at least 7 minutes to confirm it wasn't actually moving. It helps if you look at this extra large version.

The Elevator

2008-10-22T14:23:00.001-05:00

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

GnR- Chinese Democracy

2008-10-22T13:28:00.004-05:00

So a lot has changed since this picture was taken, but alas, after months of endless speculation and drama, it seems as though the new Guns and Roses album, Chinese Democracy, is finally a reality. It will be available from Best Buy as a cd or digital download starting 11/25. There will also be a vinyl version. To tide you over 'til then, here's a link to a streaming version of "Chinese Democracy."

It actually kind of rocks. Enjoy.

Here's a pic of the album cover with the tracklist below it:

1. Chinese Democracy
2. Shackler's Revenge
3. Better
4. Street Of Dreams
5. If The World
6. There Was A Time
7. Catcher N' The Rye
8. Scraped
9. Riad N' The Bedouins
10. Sorry
11. I.R.S.
12. Madagascar
13. This I Love
14. Prostitute

Troy Polamalu is Sick of this "Pansy" Crap

2008-10-16T12:44:00.004-05:00

Kudos to the hairy Samoan for taking a stand! After all, he's right.

Roger Goodell has officially usurped Dave Stern's throne as the power-crazed, anal-retentive commissioner we all love to hate.

Most of this was apparently prompted by the NFL's fining of teammate Hines Ward to the tune of $15,000 without proper explanation for plays that didn't even draw flags on the field. One of the alleged infractions may have stemmed from Ward "stepping over" another player. Please. Would you like some cries with your WAAAAABurger?

Zing!

Polamalu goes on to reference the hard-nosed greats like Butkus and Lott and how they wouldn't have been able to prosper in this land of fu-fu football. The Sally-ification (you heard me) of the No Fun League cannot be tolerated any longer!

And for shit's sake, just let them do their fucking dances in the endzone. It's hilarious.

Get out of your tower Goodell!!

New Eminem

2008-10-16T12:00:00.005-05:00

Slim Shady is back... kind of. Here's a link to a streaming version of the new song "I'm Having A Relapse." It's not so much a single as it is a sample. It's only 2 minutes long and has no chorus. Maybe part of a larger song? Probably a freestyle.

Regardless, it's interesting. It features him rapping--among other things--about chainsaws, cheerleaders, and a love for prescription medication. Oh, and he also adopts a Jamaican accent.

Sounds about right.

JOE THE PLUMBER

2008-10-15T22:55:00.005-05:00

My God. If anyone had the words "Joe" or "plumber" on their list of drinking terms for this third and final debate, well, you're shithoused.

I could practically see the SNL writing team salivating over this treasure trove of material.

Oh and my friend Shirtless and I have decided to mass market a line of Joe the Plumber memorabilia, with our initial product being the authentic Joe the Plumber t-shirt.

I was envisioning one of those denim work tees--sleeves optional--with the cursive Joe name patch on the breast pocket.

And then on the back?

THE PLUMBER stitched on in massive American flag letters.

Then, below that, we'd have a giant bald eagle carrying a tool belt in its beak.

Bam!

Retail at $79.99.

After all, freedom isn't free my friends. Freedom isn't free...

P.S. If anyone with photoshop abilities could make this happen, shout me a holler.