An Old Classic

Those Star Wars puppy costumes reminded me of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and his day spent waiting in line for Attack of the Clones. I am convinced this will never stop being hilarious.

Happy Halloween

New Wilco on Colbert Last Night!

This seems to be a new song entitled, well, "Wilco the Song."

Musically, this has the souring feedback-driven guitar lead that I have become so enamored with (see: "Handshake Drugs"). The potential for this to be stretched out live is HUGE.

Lyrically, Tweedy offers a reassuring chorus of "Wilco will love you baby," quite literally declaring that the band will be there to provide comfort when you fall on tough times.

Watch for yourself:

Phillies Win World Series or Whatever

Hooray...

Congrats on ending that devastating 28 year drought...

But in all seriousness, they were the far better team. They demonstrated solid plate discipline, waiting out some shaky starting pitching from the Rays in order to set up plenty of ideal hitters counts. Remind you of an approach some other team took for most of the regular season?...

Their pitching was great all around (Cheers to the ageless Jamie Moyer). Cole Hamels is gonna be special for a long time to come. 

And what can you say about Brad Lidge? Easily one of, if not the best season a closer has had in this league since the role became prominent. 

As for the Rays, I guess the dream had to die somewhere. Seems as though their youth and inexperience may have finally caught up with them. After that crushing game 3 loss, they really started pressing.

Thus ends the '08 season. On to free agency!

John Daly Apprehended Shitfaced Outside Hooters

Is there really anything I can say that the headline doesn't articulate perfectly? 

No. No there's not.

John Daly was arrested blackout drunk outside of a Hooters.

In other news, the sky is blue.

BAM!

I couldn't help myself.

Here are the details of the story if you're interested. Personally, I prefer to let my imagination fill in the blanks.

Here's JD playing a round with no shirt and no shoes.

A great American if you ask me.

Red Fang- Prehistoric Dog

Finally a video that combines beer, vomiting, medieval warfare and severed limbs (Well I guess those last two kind of go hand in hand).

If you're playing at home, try and shotgun one every time they do.

Beck- Gamma Ray

Trippy Brah.

Beck - Gamma Ray

The Future is Now

YEEESSSSSSIR!

A few conclusions after watching tonight's game:

1.) Derrick Rose is going to be better, faster, than anyone anticipated. 

Game 1 Line: 11 pts. 9 asts. 4 reb. 3 stl.

Finally the Bulls have a freakish athlete touching the ball on a constant basis. All you had to do was watch him take that crossover to Luke Ridnour's terrified ass to realize how good this guy is gonna be. Fucking Exciting. Can't wait to see the development... Oh and when he came out during the opening ceremony to that deafening roar? "ATTTTT GUUARRRRRRDDD, FRROOOOOOMMMMM CHIIICAAGOOOOOO..." A beautiful thing. I got the chills.

2.) Either Ty Thomas suddenly learned how to play basketball or Scott Skiles and Jim Boylan were injecting him with some kind of bad character guy serum for 2 years. He was brilliant tonight. His line (in a game high 41 minutes by the way):

15 pts. (5/10 FG) 10 reb. 3 asts. 2 stls. 1 block

These stats don't even include all of the hustle plays and intangible things he contributed. If he can maintain something close to this level throughout the season, lookout...

3.) Vinny Del Negro. Hey, I like him! 

I realize this is all a bit ridiculous after game 1, but seriously. I liked the ball movement. I LOVED that we had 44 attempts at the line. And I think he's doing a great job evaluating his talent. 

CROWN HIM!

Not quite, but Hell, good stuff tonight.

4.) Final D-Rose note:

All of those complaining about him not being a shooter? Just wait. That will come sooner than you think. I see him developing into a D-Wade type in that regard in the foreseeable future.

Finally, for your viewing pleasure, watch him drop 30 on the Mavs (10/21):

Light-Hearted Moments with Dikembe Mutombo

This will thaw even the most frozen of hearts. Dikembe is a ray of sunshine. Who knew he was a scratch golfer and a natural bowler?

Big Ups to Johnny 5 for sharing this:

Selig Follow-Up

Well, Bud apparently changed the five inning official game rule right before the start of last night's contest. Being the jolly prankster that he is however, he decided to keep it a secret from as many people as possible!

Silly Bud, you got us this time!

Most of the players and all of the viewing public had no idea. I guess the commish figured it was unnecessary to verbalize such a trivial, inconsequential policy change. Here are some noteworthy quotes:

Starting Pitcher Scott Kazmir: "I thought after five innings it was done and over and we don't continue the game."

David Price: "We thought we had to score a run. That's kind of garbage because people start to press, you know... it should be done a little bit better than that."

Brad Lidge: "They didn't tell anyone."

Oh but no worries, apparently Joe Maddon was "pretty confident," that the game wouldn't be allowed to end unfinished. Well that's a relief! 

Of course this only amplifies the "Why even start the game?" and "Why not stop the game earlier?" questions, but you already know that. This article will give you the details.

Bud Selig Finally Able to Take Long, Deep Breath

Stop me if you've heard this before.

Anyone recall that All-Star Game debacle from earlier this year? I'm not complaining about the quality of that contest. It was top-notch. But it came dangerously close to being a massive conundrum. Yes the managers were very frivolous with their respective pitching staffs, but ultimately, that incident was yet another testament to the need to put an end to this absurd World Series home field advantage experiment. Common sense tells us it is a stupid rule. An unfair, and shameless ploy to increase All-Star game buzz and television ratings.

But as we have learned over the years, common sense is often glaringly absent from the world of Major League Baseball.

Many of the game's eccentricities remain charming if not entirely necessary. I for one am against the idea of a computerized strike zone. Perhaps nostalgia, and the incessant romanticism that baseball embodies may at times trump reason and logic. You know what? I'm fine with that. Most of the time anyway (although I admit it's easier to be accepting when viewing the playoff stage from a distance... an infinitely torturous distance...). The human error debate will continue to surface perennially as the other major American sports adopt more advanced replay policies. And it should. Isn't the idea to get the call right, no matter what path is taken to arrive at the proper conclusion?

In most sports, yes.

But hey, in a sport with no time limit whatsoever--forget periods, quarters and halves 'cause we're talking no written time rules, at all--there's simply no time for a bunch of men to take a siesta in order to gather around a TV with a tarp over it and peruse through game film. 

Consider the following:

-No time limit for the pitcher between pitches

-No time limit for the batter between stepping in and out of the box

-No limit to the number of mound visits

-No set limit as to how long those mound visits can be

- If an infielder feels so inclined, he can stop by for a chat too. Hell, why not the entire infield? Hey guys! Get in here!

-No limit to the number of times a pitcher can throw to any bag. Even if no one was on base I doubt anyone would raise much of a fuss if a pitcher decided to toss over to third, just to be cute.

-And last but not least, there is no designated limit to the amount of time Lou Pineilla is granted to walk out on to the diamond, in any capacity... and then return to the dugout. He just waltzes over heeeeerrrree, and he waltzes over theeeeeeeeeere. It's a delightful promenade! Personally, I don't mind 'cause he struts like a champion, but I could see how less understanding individuals might be frustrated.

You get the point. I'm not saying all of these things should be regulated. I'm simply pointing out that baseball is often a very long, very tedious game. In a season where we were alerted that umpiring crews were being instructed to speed up the pace of play and showed (cough, understatement) a lack of results... well, you can imagine what a full-scale replay system would do to the game.

This however brings me to my next point.

When umpiring is as piss poor as has been displayed in this World Series, the outcry for replay will continue to gain steam. These guys have, simply put, been a joke. The list of blown calls is long. Tonight's strikezone was atrocious. I just don't understand how this happens. In theory, these are supposed to be the highest-graded and most respected umpires in the league are they not? So is that system flawed or have they all decided to take a collective vacation from paying attention...

And at this point my original thoughts have devolved into a rant.

My initial subject was that similar to the All-Star game situation earlier this year, Bud Selig Inc. were let off the hook, in this case after Carlos Pena was able to tie the game with a two out single in the middle of a torrential downpour.

Does anyone want to hypothesize what the overall public reception--not to mention the media reaction--would have been had the World Series been called with 3 innings to play?

Are you shitting me?

From either a Rays or Phils fan perspective, the outrage would have been unparalleled. For the Rays, well, no explanation necessary. And for Phillies fans? They would have been plagued for the rest of time with a feeling of incomplete satisfaction. They would have been infinitely chided with "What If" and "You didn't really win the World Series 'cause you never finished game 5" diatribes for the remainder of history. 

So Bud, some advice:

-End this All-Star Game experiment. It is foolish, unnecessary, unfair and ridiculous.

-Amend the "official game" rainout ruling for the playoffs, especially the fucking World Series. I mean, who are you kidding?

-This is a big one: If you're going to institute this "official game" policy in the World Series, YOU BETTER MAKE DAMN WELL SURE THAT YOU CAN FINISH THE FUCKING GAME BEFORE YOU START IT. DEAR LORD!!

Does anyone else feel like Mugatu in Zoolander?

"I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS!"

(Please keep in mind this rant is concerning a playoff series that does NOT involve the Chicago Cubs. You can only imagine the violent and hateful filth I would spew if such an improbable situation would actually come to fruition. That's right, I'm still bitter. Deal with it.)

Sigh.

That is all.

This Will Blow You Away

Well, the emails have been pouring in. The people have spoken. 

What is it this website needs to attain ultimate success?

Monkeys doing people stuff.

So at Morgan's behest, I give you a group of incredibly talented ice-skating primates:

Mos Def- Life In Marvelous Times

So here's a streaming version of the new Mos Def single, "Life in Marvelous Times," which will be on the upcoming album The Ecstatic.

Mighty Mos has a serious electro-house feel going here. Looks like Kanye really excited some of his peers with Graduation cuts like "Stronger" and "Flashing Lights."

In my opinion, this is far superior to Common's new dance track, "Universal Mind Control."

There's some Rocky-training-montage horns surfacing through all the synth fuzz. Definitely a good song to run to.

Enjoy.

More Upright Citizens Brigade

The Poo Stick:

Ass Pennies

The Human Giant videos reminded me of the criminally under-appreciated Upright Citizens Brigade. Here is the classic Ass Pennies sketch:

More Human Giant

This show cracks me up.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Will Arnett and Human Giant

Finkel, this one's for you.

See more Will Arnett videos at Funny or Die

You Want Napkins?

See more Adam "Ghost Panther" McKay videos at Funny or Die

Free Wilco DL

For a few weeks now, Wilco has offered a recording of them performing Bob Dylan's "I Shall Be Released" with Fleet Foxes. It's free.

The catch you ask?

Pledge to vote.

Here's the link.

In other Wilco news, the latest issue of Rolling Stone--you know, the one with Barak Obama on the cover for what seems like the 17th time--is reporting the band has some demos laid down and is marching into the Loft to start recording the new disc. Here's what Nels Cline had to say:

"Sonically it's going to be a much wilder, much more unexpected record. There's going to be too much to choose from. Right now it's an embarrassment of riches, for sure."

An embarrassment of Wilco riches? Too much Wilco to choose from? Sonically wild and unexpected?

Sign me up!

Imagine if this was done in time for Spring... how glorious would that be?

Here's hoping it is.

Backstreet Boys Sing National Anthem

At game 1 of the World Series?

BOOOOOOOOOOO!!

BOO I SAY!

Who the fuck made this happen? Whoever they are, their knees deserve a good breaking.

Nothing like running the Backstreet Boys out there to represent America's pastime and the Good Ole U S of A!!

Fucking BOOOOOO!!!!!

Actually, it sounded pretty good.

BUT STILL!

That is all.

Merriweather Post Pavillion Album Cover

Even if you don't care for Animal Collective, you must appreciate this album cover. 

Why?

Because it's hellaa trippy that's why. 

It took me at least 7 minutes to confirm it wasn't actually moving. It helps if you look at this extra large version.

The Elevator

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

GnR- Chinese Democracy

So a lot has changed since this picture was taken, but alas, after months of endless speculation and drama, it seems as though the new Guns and Roses album, Chinese Democracy, is finally a reality. It will be available from Best Buy as a cd or digital download starting 11/25. There will also be a vinyl version. To tide you over 'til then, here's a link to a streaming version of "Chinese Democracy." 

It actually kind of rocks. Enjoy.

Here's a pic of the album cover with the tracklist below it:

• 1. Chinese Democracy
• 2. Shackler's Revenge
• 3. Better
• 4. Street Of Dreams
• 5. If The World
• 6. There Was A Time
• 7. Catcher N' The Rye
• 8. Scraped
• 9. Riad N' The Bedouins
• 10. Sorry
• 11. I.R.S.
• 12. Madagascar
• 13. This I Love
• 14. Prostitute

Troy Polamalu is Sick of this "Pansy" Crap

Kudos to the hairy Samoan for taking a stand! After all, he's right. 

Roger Goodell has officially usurped Dave Stern's throne as the power-crazed, anal-retentive commissioner we all love to hate.

Most of this was apparently prompted by the NFL's fining of teammate Hines Ward to the tune of $15,000 without proper explanation for plays that didn't even draw flags on the field. One of the alleged infractions may have stemmed from Ward "stepping over" another player. Please. Would you like some cries with your WAAAAABurger?

Zing!

Polamalu goes on to reference the hard-nosed greats like Butkus and Lott and how they wouldn't have been able to prosper in this land of fu-fu football. The Sally-ification (you heard me) of the No Fun League cannot be tolerated any longer!

And for shit's sake, just let them do their fucking dances in the endzone. It's hilarious.

Get out of your tower Goodell!!

New Eminem

Slim Shady is back... kind of. Here's a link to a streaming version of the new song "I'm Having A Relapse." It's not so much a single as it is a sample. It's only 2 minutes long and has no chorus. Maybe part of a larger song? Probably a freestyle.

Regardless, it's interesting. It features him rapping--among other things--about chainsaws, cheerleaders, and a love for prescription medication. Oh, and he also adopts a Jamaican accent.

Sounds about right.

JOE THE PLUMBER

 My God. If anyone had the words "Joe" or "plumber" on their list of drinking terms for this third and final debate, well, you're shithoused.

I could practically see the SNL writing team salivating over this treasure trove of material.

Oh and my friend Shirtless and I have decided to mass market a line of Joe the Plumber memorabilia, with our initial product being the authentic Joe the Plumber t-shirt.

I was envisioning one of those denim work tees--sleeves optional--with the cursive Joe name patch on the breast pocket.

And then on the back?

THE PLUMBER stitched on in massive American flag letters.

Then, below that, we'd have a giant bald eagle carrying a tool belt in its beak.

Bam!

Retail at $79.99. 

After all, freedom isn't free my friends. Freedom isn't free...

P.S. If anyone with photoshop abilities could make this happen, shout me a holler.

Kanye Album L.A. Listening Party

So 808's and Heartbreak was played in its entirety last night at some weird, Eyes Wide Shut type gathering filled with naked broads wearing fur masks.

For those not so enchanted with the idea of an entire disc of auto tune material? Your worst fears have been confirmed.

Apparently it is a "breakup album" featuring Mr. West singing throughout. It's out Nov. 25th.

Here's a link to the new track "Heartless," fresh from Yeezie's blog. Also featured are plenty of pictures of the aforementioned naked broads.

Also of note: apparently Kanye plans to put forth another album in June. Prolific indeed.

Oh, and here's the 808's and Heartbreak tracklist:

1.) Welcome to Heartbreak

2.) Heartless

3.) Love Lockdown

4.) Robocop

5.) Anyway

6.) Street Lights

7.) Say You Will

8.) Bad News

9.) Amazing

10.) Tell Everybody That You Know

11.) Coldest Winter

And by the way, any Kanye song named Robocop better be fucking sweet.

Most Terrifying Wiffle Ball Pitcher Ever

Sweet Christ this guy is devastating.

Man On Wire

Trailer for the critically praised documentary which tells the story of Phillipe Petit, the man who spent over six years planning his tightrope walk between the WTC towers, and then succeeded in making it happen. It was dubbed "the most artistic crime of the century."

New Documentary

My buddy Ross Finkel (Hi Ross! What's up? Nothing? That's Cool.) and some of his cohorts are currently at work on a very interesting project.

It's called Live to Play, Play to Live and it takes an in-depth look at the Dominican Republic and its national obsession with baseball. The film chronicles the Dominican's impoverished youth as they attempt to work their way through the grueling ranks of lower league baseball in order to achieve the ultimate goal for themselves and their families: a major league contract. For more information, shoot over to their website. I've posted the trailer below and it looks mighty impressive:

Really?

This was actually on the Discovery channel? Brilliant.

I give you a computerized fight between a Gorilla and a Leopard:

Fully Automatic Shotgun

Badass. 

"There's no way that anybody within 200 yards could face this weapon and survive it," says the wise man with the silver mustache.

I'm not sure why, but dammit, I believe him.

Mom Punches Teacher In Face

Classic Comedy.

Fleet Foxes- White Winter Hymnal

Real cool video and a great album.

If You Haven't Seen This Already

...then enjoy.

If you have, enjoy it anyway. It always cheers me up.

Could Be Funny

My God...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the FUCK!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Time to start drinking.

That is all.

DJ Earworm- Reckoner Lockdown

Here's a streaming version of DJ Earworm's mashup of Radiohead's "Reckoner" and Kanye's "Love Lockdown."

I think it sounds real good. Now if he could only do something about that DJ name...

MGMT- The Youth

Enjoy.

New Animal Collective!

The album is called Merriweather Post Pavillion and is due in January.

Here's the tracklist:

1.) In the Flowers

2.) My Girls

3.) Also Frightened

4.) Summertime Clothes

5.) Daily Routine

6.) Bluish

7.) Guys Eyes

8.) Taste

9.) Lion in a Coma

10.) No More Runnin

11.) Brothersport

Sweeeeetttttt!

Yikes

I know the liberal media thing is especially annoying this election, but come on...

This church is terrifying. And kind of funny.

Hawk Gets Extension Through 2012

KAWWWWWW!!!!!!

KAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

For those of you unfamiliar with this particular ritual, that is the sound of a hawk.

The man who laughs in the face of 4th down has gotten a contract extension through 2012, and dang nabbit, he deserves it. He's exactly what the program needed. Kudos to the CU powers that be for realizing he was the man for the job and for rewarding his hard work. What did Hawk have to say on the matter?

"Everybody else seems to care about that more than I do. The way I was raised, you've got to show up, put your boots on and go to work every day."

(Cue the anthem): And the hooooooome ooooooof the braaaaaaaaaaaaaave!!!

God bless you Dan Hawkins.

God bless you.

Trailer for Justice Documentary

Sorry about the boobs.

JUSTICE - A CROSS THE UNIVERSE (teaser)
by edbangerrecords

Going Down With the Ship

Rather than provide an umpteenth photo of another blank faced Cub, sitting erect and alone in a shadowy and abandoned dugout, or another sorry snapshot of broken, jerseyed civilians, heads in hands, on bars, and towards the sky in disbelief, I felt that perhaps the image of the L flag--after a season covered so thoroughly in blue W's--was the most telling picture of all. The W became the signal of a new era this year, of a new franchise. This was a team that always seemed to win the close games. And the improbable ones.

In a season where the W flag became more than a mere indicator of daily success--a season where it became the embodiment of that perpetually elusive goal--ultimately, it was the blue cloth with the white L that reigned supreme once again. So now we are left shamed by that W that flew so unwavering and confident throughout the summer. It is our scarlet letter. I saw dozens of them still plastered in storefronts and hanging limply from apartment porches as my red-line train limped north towards Rogers Park on Sunday morning.

I felt... tired.

And so did the rest of Wrigleyville on that appropriately grey and gusty afternoon. It was the first real sign of the impending cold. Another fitting reminder that the summer and all of its dizzying highs had now vanished in an instant, nowhere to be found.

In a season which saw increased debate over the necessity of even flying the L flag, with complaints that it promoted a losing attitude--it appears as though that particular symbol now stands as the sole remaining artifact of a year that as recent as last Wednesday, seemed saturated with a sense of championship entitlement.

This was supposed to be ours, and we were supposed to have a darn fun time getting it.

While I stood at the bar of the Dark Horse on Sheffield Saturday night, conversing with a season ticket holder as we nervously gulped down our beer, an eerily prophetic image was suddenly displayed across several of the flat-screens perched around the pub.

You see, as the manager struggled to sync all of the televisions to the HD feed, he accidentally set some of the screens to the TNT HD channel. Perhaps at the behest of Ted Turner in some cruel and utterly surreal practical joke, TNT was airing the James Cameron epic Titanic that evening. And wouldn't you know it, we were just in time for the climax.

Just as the Cubs were preparing to take the field, we were stuck watching the infamous luxury liner well into its descent, jutting out of the water and already half-way submerged, digitally rendered bodies leaping off into the icy water below.

Now if that's not the biggest metaphoric punch in the gut you've ever heard...

Of course the irony was not lost on many of us. There were groans, shouts to change the channel. But these were the complaints of people who had already accepted their collective fate. You just knew, right from the jump-off, that this night was to be no better than the two previous. There would be no saving face or living to fight another day. This team was already belly-up and sinking fast. It was time to usher the women and children towards safety and deploy the lifeboats. It was time to abandon ship.

Of course I didn't vocalize such blatant Cubs blasphemy, the type of attitude that legions of cock-eyed optimists in Cubdom regard with a particularly malicious brand of disdain.

But I watched the game like I watched most of the 163 before it. I yelled. I clapped. I hit things.

We all did. What else could we do? That sense of entitlement, of being owed a championship and all that comes with it, had been replaced with a painstakingly familiar feeling. A feeling of obligation. Of duty.

A duty to go down with the ship.

It's sort of like staring at a car wreck or a skateboarding accident: even if you want to, you just can't look away.

I have always been frustrated and even annoyed with the more blindly optimistic Cub fans. Not all of them, but those that have helped sculpt us into caricatures of ourselves with their incessant "This is the year!" and "It's Gonna Happen" posturing. But you know what?

It was hard to fault them this go round.

Because it was the year. It was going to happen. I'm pretty sure I thought so anyway. After the lengthy list of miraculous games the Cubs compiled over a six-month span, it simply made sense.

But all that's over with now. We've been left to wander aimlessly through the nuclear fallout. To pick through the rubble. And perhaps what makes this particular disaster different than disasters past is that this one might be irreparable. Cub fans, a good deal of them anyway, are severely furious. Fed up. There is talk of mutiny. Of packing jerseys away in the attic. Of burning merchandise. And to think, it only took a century.

Honestly, when Spring Training rolls around, most of them will be back. It's the nature of the beast. But perhaps this time there will be a calculated disinterest. A more casual, less taxing fanaticism. A distance generated from being burned just one too many times.

And perhaps that's just what the franchise needs.

So until then, I leave you with this quote:

It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops. --A. Bartlett Giamatti, "The Green Fields of the Mind"

Ben Gordon Accepts 1 Year Deal

So apparently we haven't seen the last of Gordo in a Bulls uniform after all. Both parties failed to agree on a long-term deal, and with seemingly nowhere else to go, Gordon accepted a one-year offer worth $6.4 million. So the clusterfuck of guards remains intact. I'm glad Gordon is back. Heinrich and Hughes... not so much.

Dumb

I'm sorry, but she is.

Sick

Trailer for Synecdoche, New York. Looks pretty epic.

Dodgers 7, Cubs 2

Oh Christ.

No.

I'm not going to get all negative here. Not right now. It happens Demp. 

Expect a recap tomorrow.

Unless I decide it's bad luck. But hey, I didn't write a thorough pre-cap of this series for such reasons. Perhaps it's time to reverse that trend...

I will say this:

I am confident that Big Z will be absolutely devastating tomorrow. More confident than I have been in any Cub pitcher in any big start in my entire life.

Be afraid Dodgers. Be very afraid.

Phish Reunites

The time has come to throw away your shampoo and snap your glowsticks to life. The imminent Phish reunion has come to fruition. 

The band will play at the Hampton Coliseum for three nights in 09': 3/06, 3/07, and 3/08.

Fans familiar with the boys (what can I say, I was once obsessed) know that Hampton holds special significance having been the host to some historic shows in the past.

A limited number of tickets are available through the Phish website, with private sales ending on October 8th. Public tickets are available on Saturday, October 18th.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find some patchwork pants. Immediately.