Wednesday Is Garbage Day

Wednesday, at least here in the Land of Lincoln, is garbage day. What perfect timing. Here's a movie clip that always brings a bit of joy to my life:

Watch This At Least Ten Times

Props to Finkel on this gem:

Star Trek Trailer

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by videos22

Kanye- Sky High (Remix Album)

Head over to this link at Pitchfork to stream the whole Sky High remix compilation. 

A great party album.

Dempster Signed!

Some good news after this whole Kerry Wood debacle.

Today the Cubs inked Ryan Dempster to a four year, $52 million deal.

Good for Demp and good for the Cubs. After seeing Woody takeoff, it was nice to retain Dempster who is perhaps our best clubhouse presence. Funny, gracious, kindhearted, great work ethic. The kind of guy you want on your ballclub.

Every year I have worked the Ron Santo Golf Experience for Juvenile Diabetes, Dempster has not only shown up, but been incredibly amicable to everyone in attendance, whether staff or participants. This last year he came and played despite having pitched an eight inning gem the night before which completed the Wrigley sweep of the South Siders.

When I met him for the first time briefly at the event in '05, he took up my autograph request with a "Sure, dude," and game me a very humble "Thanks buddy" after I complemented the season he was having.

All character issues aside, the guy had a great year. Our most consistent arm all season. I for one was skeptical when Lou decided to go with him in the rotation over Lieber. Shows what I know.

I leave you with Demp doing his Harry Caray impersonation at Spring Training in Mesa:

Coldplay feat. Jay-Z- Lost +

Donovan McNabb Unaware Of The Existence Of Ties

My favorite part is the follow up question of one of the reporters.

"You seriously didn't know that? You thought there was like another overtime or something?"

Woody Says He "Would Have Done Anything" To Remain In Chicago

Well what initially seemed to be a sad but arguably necessary financial move in letting Kid K depart continues to seem like more of a head-scratcher. 

Yes, had Kerry demanded a 3+ year deal it probably would've been time to say goodbye. But here he comes out and says essentially he would have accepted a one year offer at a hometown discount?

What the shit Hendry?

You don't even make an offer? Instead you send Jose Ceda (our #3 prospect according to Baseball Prospectus) over to Florida for Kevin Gregg, who we all remember had his dreams crushed by Daryle Ward last August.

Woody was, and is, the consummate professional. The face of the franchise. As good a character guy as you'll find. This is very disheartening.

If what seems set in stone does indeed come to pass then good luck Kerry. You will be missed.

Here is the link to the article. 

Jamie Foxx Destroys Unfunny Cliched Black Comedian

Brutal and hilarious.

Bill Burr Questions Blind Man's Blindness

I saw him my freshman year at Boulder and it was God Damn hysterical. If you get the chance, go see him.

GIRAFFES!

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That...

Smart

New Jay-Z

Song is "History." Assumedly this would be on The Blueprint 3. Personally I am not a fan. However, that could have something to do with this ripped version being littered with the most annoying DJ drops imaginable. Here she is.

New Common

Song called "Changes" off the new Universal Mind Control LP. Seems pretty average to me. You can take a stab at what the song might be about... perhaps... change?

Here's the link from Kanye's blog.

Kid Rock Was Raised By Bald Eagles

I feel like Kid Rock ripped this straight out of Team America. Simply stunning. Good thing they threw Dale Jr. in there just for the hell of it. I have to ask...

Where's Brett Favre? And where, pray tell, are the Wrangler jeans? I DEMAND Wrangler jeans. Perhaps they should consider changing their company name to freedom? As in, "Hey Kid Rock, are those freedom jeans you're wearing?"

And don't say I don't support the troops for God's sake. It's just an absolutely ridiculous song and an equally ridiculous video.

"CAUSE FREEDOM AIN'T SO FREEEEEE WHEN YOU BREATH RED WHITE ANNDDDDD BLUUUUUE!"

That's just good writing... that's all that is.

Eagles of Death Metal- Wannabe in L.A.

New album Heart On out now. Go get it.

Coconut Records- West Coast

A cool video from Jason Schwartzman's new band Coconut Records. The featured skateboarder is Mark Gonzales and the location is Germany. The latter half was recorded inside the Stadtisches Museum Abteilberg.

Bearded One: "I'm Hoping I Don't Miss Any Time"

Take a deep sigh of relief everyone. The Jack Daniels Destroyer is gonna be alllllrrrrriiiiiggght.

It is an ankle sprain, nothing more. Orton remains optimistic that he could play this week against Tennessee. 

"I'm certainly not ruling out anything," was his message at Halas Hall earlier today.

My vote, and the general consensus, is to let Grossman face that undefeated Titan defense this Sunday. Let Kyle heal up and get ready to take it to the cheese-gobblers in a couple weeks.

Thought This Was Appropriate

A Momentous Day For America

A very special night. We should all be proud on a number of levels.

We. As in everyone who loves this country.

I could write pages on this but I'm going to refrain. I don't like to delve into my personal politics very frequently and at a time such as this, it won't be necessary. The words, images, videos; they all speak for themselves. 

Much has been made of Senator Obama's oratorial gifts over the recent months and even years. Well they were on full display for all of the world tonight. The best speech I have experienced in my lifetime. Truly moving stuff made all the more poignant by the faces of those who watched from Grant Park and all throughout the entire country.

Below is the written transcript and the video:

Hello, Chicago.

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen, by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different, that their voices could be that difference.

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states.

We are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It's the answer that led those who've been told for so long by so many to be cynical and fearful and doubtful about what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this date in this election at this defining moment change has come to America.

A little bit earlier this evening, I received an extraordinarily gracious call from Sen. McCain.

Sen. McCain fought long and hard in this campaign. And he's fought even longer and harder for the country that he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine. We are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader.

I congratulate him; I congratulate Gov. Palin for all that they've achieved. And I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart, and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on the train home to Delaware, the vice president-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

And I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation's next first lady Michelle Obama.

Sasha and Malia I love you both more than you can imagine. And you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the new White House.

And while she's no longer with us, I know my grandmother's watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight. I know that my debt to them is beyond measure.

To my sister Maya, my sister Alma, all my other brothers and sisters, thank you so much for all the support that you've given me. I am grateful to them.

And to my campaign manager, David Plouffe, the unsung hero of this campaign, who built the best -- the best political campaign, I think, in the history of the United States of America.

To my chief strategist David Axelrod who's been a partner with me every step of the way.

To the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you've sacrificed to get it done.

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to. It belongs to you. It belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington. It began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston. It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give $5 and $10 and $20 to the cause.

It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep.

It drew strength from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on doors of perfect strangers, and from the millions of Americans who volunteered and organized and proved that more than two centuries later a government of the people, by the people, and for the people has not perished from the Earth.

This is your victory.

And I know you didn't do this just to win an election. And I know you didn't do it for me.

You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime -- two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century.

Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us.

There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after the children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage or pay their doctors' bills or save enough for their child's college education.

There's new energy to harness, new jobs to be created, new schools to build, and threats to meet, alliances to repair.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there.

I promise you, we as a people will get there.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can't solve every problem.

But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it's been done in America for 221 years -- block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

What began 21 months ago in the depths of winter cannot end on this autumn night.

This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were.

It can't happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice.

So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other.

Let us remember that, if this financial crisis taught us anything, it's that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers.

In this country, we rise or fall as one nation, as one people. Let's resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long.

Let's remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House, a party founded on the values of self-reliance and individual liberty and national unity.

Those are values that we all share. And while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress.

As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.

And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces, to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world, our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand.

To those -- to those who would tear the world down: We will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security: We support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright: Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.

That's the true genius of America: that America can change. Our union can be perfected. What we've already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight's about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing: Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons -- because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America -- the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs, a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination.

And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change.

Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves -- if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment.

This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.

Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America.

Voter Commits Voter Fraud, Tells World

Big ups to Mark for pointing this out.

It's That Time Again

In honor of the temporary return of everyone's favorite lazer launching rocket blaster, here is the famed Rex Grossman "Fuck It I'm Throwing Downfield" inner monologue.

Hurry back Oh Bearded One. Don't drink any gatorade handed to you by Rexy.

And lock your doors, dammit. 

Because the Tyrannosauras is watching...

Yeah, I see Jones open on the flank. But fuck that. Dumpoff passes are for faggots. I’m fucking Sexy Rexy Grossman. I can get that ball in there. And, even if I can’t, I bet I’ll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like throwing the ball long. It makes my dick hard.

What’s that? I should throw a quick slant? Fuck that. That’s gay. Button hook? Gay. Flare out? Gay. Screen pass? Kevin Spacey gay. This is fucking football. You can’t just expect wins to come to you. You can’t massage that shit. You gotta grab that game by the throat and rape the ever-loving shit out of it. You think a 5-yard out is gonna win you a game? You’re a pussy. This ain’t John Shoop running this offense. Sexy Rexy’s got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.

Okay, I’m throwing it. Nice. Look how far it went. I look good. I bet I made that Pats cheerleader wet her panties with that throw. She fucking wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.

Oh shit. Looks like Samuel caught it. Again. Oh well. It still felt fucking great to throw that shit. Tell me that wasn’t one of the prettiest passes you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna throw it long the next time we hit the field. I’m gonna throw it even longer. Harder. You see that kid in wheelchair sitting in the end zone bleachers? I’m gonna nail him right between the fucking eyes with a Sexy Rexy fastball. Why? Because I can.

This is Rex Grossman we’re talking about here. We’re talking 210 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I’m not just a gunslinger. I’m a cumslinger. Throwing that ball long tells all the Rexettes that I am fucking out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I’ll tease them with a pretty touch pass every now and again. But then I’m gonna go right back to pumping that ball out for all it's worth. It tells them I throw like I fuck. That's how we do things in the sexy business. 

Tell me you're not turned on right now. I am.

New Lebron Ad With Weezy

Short but sweet.