Lil Wayne and Katie Couric

Two names you associate with one another no? Katie Couric and Lil Wayne will be bowling with one another on her "All Access Grammy Special," and then Katie will ask Weezy questions.

No punchline necessary. It's must-see TV. Feb. 4th, CBS 9PM ET You're welcome CBS. Prepare for a massive surge in television ratings. Call it The Gettin' Place bump.

Peep the preview



Watch CBS Videos Online

What I'm Listening To

So 2009 is about a month deep at this point and there's not much other than the new Animal Collective and the Bon Iver EP that I've enjoyed.

-The new Andrew Bird is pleasant, but nothing special
-Antony and his voice do not mesh well with me
-Never been a huge Franz Ferdinand fan and so far my opinion is unchanged
-Late of the Pier album has a few good songs, but overall it sounds too campy, a bit cheesy, and it lacks substance.

I'm waiting for something to grab my attention. I streamed the new M. Ward (here) and much like the Bird disc, it was pretty, but nothing that captured my attention. Two upcoming releases I am excited about are the new ...And You Will Know Us disc due in early February as well as the Neko Case cd coming in March which I am very super pumped for.

Anyways, what do I do when nothing recent captures my interest? I dig back a bit. So here's what I've been playing the last few days. I'm on a mixtape/world music type binge:

Various Artists- Slumdog Millionaire OST








I suppose this is pretty current. See the movie first. AR Rahman, famed Bollywood music producer, delivers the goods here. Dancehall/electro/world/reggaeton type stuff, plus M.I.A. gets in on the action.



Wale- The Mixtape About Nothing and 100 Miles and Running










Pronounced WAH-lay, this DC rapper is seriously impressive. Closest comparison would be Black Thought, who he also credits as his favorite lyricist. Metaphors that hurt your brain delivered with a rolling swag. He's an ambitious dude too. The Mixtape About Nothing gathers its central theme from Seinfeld. No seriously, it does. And it works. Snippets of famous show audio are spliced in throughout and the over-arching themes of the series and some of its particularly notable episodes provide inspiration for the content in his verses. It shouldn't work, but it does. Peep the album cover.


Santogold and Diplo- Top Ranking and M.I.A. and Diplo- Piracy Funds Terrorism











Couple of badass mixtapes by Diplo primarily featuring two female artists often considered parallel with one another. Reggaeton, dancehall, new wave, and club rap songs are mixed in and remixed with Santogold's selftitled disc and M.I.A.'s Arular. Good for dance parties if you happen to have a world cuisine themed gathering. If you hold meetings of the model UN in your basement such tunes would also be appropriate. Actually, no they wouldn't. At all. Driving a dune buggie through the jungle with dual subwoofers. That's better.

Enjoy.

Thoughts While NOT Watching Football On Sunday

Hi.

This last Sunday, there was a large void in my life. Probably yours too. There was zero football on. None whatsoever. It's been a long time since that happened. We all know what Sunday is. Tis' a day of rest. So what did I do? I watched TV. My internet was down and I don't have cable right now, so I had about 3 channels at my disposal. Here is a list of the type of things that occurred to me while watching really bad television for an extended period of time. As always, no logical order:

1.) "Whacked Out Sports" Have you ever seen this show? It's in the same vain as AFV or Real TV except it's nothing but people getting hurt performing sports-related activities. No babies or pets climbing inside boxes taking up valuable pain time. No wacky costumes or zany wedding videos to clutter things up. Just a healthy dose of catastrophe. Who or what could make such a show unwatchable you ask? (Well I should modify that statement. I watched it. Twice.) A narrator so painfully unfunny and saturated with sarcasm he makes you wish every unfortunate skateboarding accident the program documents had him directly involved. A voice that was forged in the fires of television hell. If Bob Saget is God, this, my friends, is the Anti-Christ.


Imagine if this bastard appeared out of the bushes to spew maddening puns every time you hurt yourself in real life. Like for example if I tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and smashed my face on concrete while vacationing in London he might tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle and quip something about me "not having a bloody good time." This is the first example that came to mind. I welcome suggestions.

2.) This commercial:



You would think the Mrs. would grow fed-up with all this penny pinching that borders on the brink of insanity. I want to see a version where rather than bring him a bag of dollar menu items after he jackhammers the family walkway, she slaps him in the face and serves him with divorce papers.

3.) Have you ever watched the Jeff Foxworthy hosted gameshow "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" As far as gameshows go, it is very easy. Like, really, seriously not difficult. I've never seen anything like it. I'm not sure if anyone has ever won the million dollars, but I sure hope someone has, because if they haven't it does not reflect well on the national intelligence. I don't know what kind of draftpool they're using over at Fox Studios but I'm convinced it's not the cream of the crop. I suppose that's part of the shtick. Behold:



And then there's Kelli Pickler:




Foxworthy is actually the best part of this show. It must be tempting to be snarky with these people and he manages to avoid the trap while concurrently being amusing once in awhile. They sure put a lot of pressure on these kids though don't they? I anticipate hundreds of hours in future therapy and repressed memories. Couldn't you see one of these children costing someone hundreds of thousands of dollars only to be accosted with a Homer Simpson like strangle?

"You stupid little bastard!!! I'll choke the life out of you!! I have seventy-five grand in gambling debts and you don't know where fucking Budapest is?!! I got fired for drinking on the job!!! My wife won't return my phone calls! I've got nothing to live for!!!"

You get the idea. Hopefully Foxworthy carries a taser.

4.) Go see Slumdog Millionaire. It is everything a great movie should be. When you're done, buy the soundtrack, which includes this bangin' DFA remix of "Paper Planes":






5.) I love M*A*S*H*







6.) I HATE the Collorio family.



I don't care about your dysfunctional Italian family tree. Give me one of those sausages and shut your damn mouth.


7.) I can't believe the new head of the Republican Party's last name is Boehner. I know it's pronounced BAY-ner and I'm not anti-conservative or anything, but I still find it funny... mostly because whenever I see this guy speaking, he comes off like kind of a boner.

8.) Headline on local Fox News: "For the second time in two weeks, someone has died at a monster truck rally." 'Nuff said.

9.) What kind of life does The Undertaker live away from professional wrestling? He's been going at it for 25 years for God's sake!


Does this guy have a wife and kids? Does he enjoy a glass of Merlot from time to time? Any pets? What are his passions? Flamenco music?

10.) Go see "The Wrestler." Mickey Rourke is phenomenal. Him not winning Best Actor would be an absolute crime. Tomei is great too. Bruce Springsteen's track which he penned for the film after Rourke contacted him, also titled "The Wrestler," is a major triumph as well:



11.) You know that Samsung commercial where the old guy says "Quiet Beetleheads!" when everyone's talking during the big game? That phrase will now be incorporated into my everyday arsenal.

Starting.............. now.

12.) Where does Ryan Seacrest rank on your "Fight Club" list? He has to be like a universal top 25 right? It's not that he's even done anything that wrong. He just has a way about him. I suppose he did kinda mock that blind guy or whatever:






Here's how I wished it would have gone down:

Blind Man- "Don't patronize me Seacrest!!!" (Rips hand away, slugs Seacrest in jaw)

Ryan Seacrest- (Falls).

13.) Why do homeless people insist on staying in cold climates? If you're not completely insane you can find a way down south right? Train, hitchhike... something. What's to stop you? It's not like you have any serious commitments or prior engagements. You're homeless.


That is all.

Someone Posing As Kanye West Is A Big Fan Of Bisexual Porn

Apparently there are legions of people interested in pretending to be Kanye West so they can make fake, outlandish statements to assorted media outlets, the latest of which "confesses" his desire to break into the porn industry. Yeeezy has a question for those people:

"Why can't you let me be great?"

Over on the blog Kanye revealed people have been hacking into his Gmail and MySpace, opening false Skype and Twitter accounts under his name, and stealing strands of his mullet in order to clone a new super army.

(Please let the mullet come back. Please? Imagine celebrities with mullets. Just pick one you find particularly silly and visualize. Funny isn't it? Tom Brokaw comes to mind... man I am really on a Brokaw kick lately...)

Anyways, Ye is pissed, and understandably so. You can peep his rant here.

Thoughts While Watching Way Too Much Inauguration Day Coverage

Alright then. No rhyme or reason here. Let's go.

1.) Non-inauguration-speech quote of the day: "He's just a cool dude. They like the way he moves." -Tom Brokaw on why the youth were so smitten with Barack Obama.

Am I the only one who immediately thinks of the Outkast song? I'm not am I. Can't you imagine a music video with Tom Brokaw wearing a big fur coat, rapping about President Obama and the greatest generation? You can't? Try harder. I'm convinced the world would be a better place if Tom Brokaw were to release a rap album. The cadence of his voice is unparalleled. Can we make this happen? YES WE CAN.

2.) "Yes We Can!" "Yes We Did!" "O-BA-MA!" Can we stop the mindless chanting at this point? Please. May I offer an alternative? Whenever Barack appears in a public setting let's all fucking sing "We Are the Champions" in unison. The chanting needs to stop. Sure, chanting can be fun. Have I ever chanted? Of course. Who doesn't love a chant now and then? But all good things in moderation people! You don't like that guy at the ballpark who keeps trying to start chants all the time do you? No, of course you don't. You don't wanna be that guy.

A question: Does this dramatic spike in chanting have anything to do with all these tri-syllabic phrases? Somebody draw up a study. Who do you think had the least chantable surname in presidential history? My vote goes to Eisenhower. The most comedic? Bush.

Haha, Bush.

3.) How much would you pay to know what kind of conversations Barack and G-Dub have had in private? If I were a wealthy man I would pay a hefty sum for such a transcript. They don't seem like the most compatible duo, am I right? I smell a sitcom!!!

4.) Helicopters are crazy.

5.) Hey Chief Justice John Roberts: If you're too cool to use any notes when SWEARING IN THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, you better have a good enough memory to remember like, one paragraph of dialogue. You reminded me of Jeff Gordon trying to sing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame."

6.) What kind of food did they serve at that luncheon? Christ. Senators were dropping like flies. It's either that or Ted Kennedy swallowed an alka-seltzer like that guy in Eraser. Too soon?

7.) How sick is that new armored Cadillac limo? Can I get an over/under on how many rappers are going to mention it and or attempt to buy it in the coming months? I'm setting the bar at 5.

8.) Being in the Secret Service seems like a pretty sweet gig. If Sinbad can do it, why can't I?

9.) There seemed to be an abnormal amount of personal anecdotes while the NBC news team attempted to fill loads of inevitable silence throughout the afternoon. It must be tough to provide worthwhile content during a day of events filled with such an abundance of downtime and potentially boring live coverage. I don't blame them for rambling. It must be hard. I was hoping for just one wildly inappropriate, non-related yarn where Brian Williams would recount the time he did a bunch of mescaline and set a goat on fire, but it never came to fruition. Maybe next election.

10.) Initially it was very touching stuff, but let's stop rounding up every African-American woman over the age of 75, telling her to say how she never thought she'd see the day, and calling it a news story. I don't mean to sound cynical, but after watching a more-than-hearty share of election and inauguration coverage, I've had my fill. I hoped they'd find one incredibly cute old lady who'd had this year marked on her calendar for decades, but she never appeared. Ms. Cleo, I'm looking at you. Over 75? Not so much. But I like to think her wisdom adds at least 20 years.

11.) Quote from Obama's inauguration speech that I felt was most poignant to our time, stood out above the rest, will have the most historical staying power: "To those leaders around the world who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West--know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy."

12.) Random, hilarious news headline I found while searching for inauguration pictures: "Vomiting Birds Save Icebox Pair Adrift For 25 Days"


Here's Obama's inauguration speech in full.

And here's a video that remixes Daft Punk's "Aerodynamic"-- a version that doesn't vary far from the original except for some presidential spelling--using stop-motion animation and some crazy legos:


Daft Punk vs. Adam Freeland - "Aer OBAMA" from Gold Greendot on Vimeo.

That is all.

The Felix Pie Trade

The former Cubs #1 prospect and one-time center fielder of the future is no more. Pie was traded on Sunday to Baltimore, a team that has shown interest in his services for some time, for two arms: lefty Garrett Olson and righty Hank Williamson.

Olson has had a rough go of it since being prematurely thrust into a starting role with the Orioles. Peep the minor league stats versus the majors:

Minors (383.2 IP, 71 appearances): 12-10, 2.96 ERA, 9.0 K/9

2008 after promotion to the bigs: (26 starts, 132.2 IP): 9-10, 6.65 ERA

Williamson is a big boy (6-5, 233lbs.) who posted some solid power stats in Single A ball last year: 42 K's in 29 IP, BAA of .221

So what does this all mean? Well, when the Cubs signed Joey Gathright they essentially ended the Pie era here in Chicago. It was only a matter of when, to who, and for what he would be traded. Andy MacPhail (remember him?) has long shown interest in Felix, and the Orioles have been tied to him since those incessant Brian Roberts rumors first began to surface. Personally, I feel as though Pie never really got enough of a chance. He is still young by prospect standards and already has shown plus speed, plus defense, and a plus arm at the big league level. If you compare his major and minor league stats with Soriano's at this age, he even has a slight advantage. If he can develop some solid power (he'll never have the patience for the leadoff spot) he could really blossom. We shall see. The Cubs remain a team in "win-now" mode, and any Lou Piniella managed team in "win-now" mode is not going to tolerate the offensive struggles of a prospect like Pie. There simply weren't enough innings available for him to learn on the job. Lou generally has a "shit-or-get-off-the-pot" attitude with his non-star players. Unfortunately for Felix, he was a bit constipated. It'll be interesting to see how he fares when given a starting slot, which, in all likelihood, will be the case in Baltimore.

All stats aside, what did we get in return? In Olson we have a potential lefty mid-rotation guy with Sean Marshall/Rich Hill type stuff. Williamson projects as a power bullpen piece with a live arm. The key to all this however is that Kevin Towers, GM of the Padres, has previously expressed interest in Olson. Therefore the hope is that this is another precursor to a Peavy trade. Let's hope that's the case. The ideal trade would probably send Olson, Jeff Stevens (arm acquired from Cle. in the DeRo deal), Cedeno, Kevin Hart and maybe one other piece--please God not Josh Vitters--to San Diego for Peavy. If Hendry could spin this deal with any 5th man other than Vitters, I would be pretty damn happy. Here's hoping it's on the way.

Thoughts/Observations After Watching Football All Weekend

First let me say thanks to those of you who contributed to the reader input post. As a result of your requests, the following will now be staples here at the website:

1.) Pictures of me wearing clothes
2.) Videos of me in the shower
3.) People doing monkey stuff
4.) In-depth Cricket coverage
5.) Photos of my poop

Ask and you shall receive.


Moving on. Here's some things I thought of while watching football all weekend in the order they originally came to me:

1.) Hey Howie Long. Stop making fun of strangers for not having Chevy trucks. You snarky bastard. How furious would you be if something like this were to happen to you in real life? Well I take it back. You'd probably be too confused to be angry. Example:

Me (sitting in traffic in my non-Chevy truck): Come on! Move people!

Howie Long taps on my window. I roll my window down.

Me(shocked, confused): Howie Long?

Howie: Hows your gas mileage?

Me: Excuse me?

Howie: Mine's better. My engine's bigger too.

Me: Where did you come from anyway? Did you just abandon your truck in the middle of traffic to come harass me?

Howie: Nice manicure. Doosh.

Me: What the?- It's not a manicure dammit! Stop making fun of me Howie Long! Christ, get out of here! Broken Arrow was cool but Firestorm fucking sucked!



You see? You'd be shocked wouldn't you. Shocked and hurt.

I have to take back that Firestorm knock though. I lost my temper and said something I didn't mean. It happens.








2.) Why are all the talking heads insisting that Edgerrin James and the Cards running game is suddenly a factor? It's still no good. The team numbers:

vs. ATL: 28 car, 86 yds, 3.1 avg.

vs. CAR: 43 car, 145 yds, 3.4 avg.

The second game was a little better, but most of that was in garbage time against a team that had already quit.

3.) Joe Flacco is just ok. One day he may be good. Even very good. Right now? He's just ok. So everybody just chill out on the Flacco boner.

4.) Geico. I am calling out your head of advertising. What is this money-with-the-googly eyes shit you're peddling? It's not funny. At all. You think just because you made one, maybe two funny ads about some fucking cavemen that you can wake up hungover and throw together some ad campaign about a stack of dollar bills with fucking googly eyes, add some techno music, and everyone will lap it up like it's hilarious! Try harder dammit! I have no respect for anyone who enjoys these commercials. It reminds me of this:




5.)
This fucking guy pisses me off. Why? Come on. Just look at him. I bet he pisses you off too. I thought it was impossible to make T.G.I. Fridays more obnoxious and less appetizing. I was wrong. Mission Accomplished.


That is all.

Reader Input

Greetings all. Considering it's the new year and whatnot,  I'm trying to improve the content of the website, and to do that, I need suggestions. From you. The people.

So. People. What's up?

What would you like to see The Gettin' Place offer? Here are some possibilities:

1.) Daily/weekly new music or "What I'm listening to" posts

2.) Fiction by yours truly and others both notable and unknown

3.) More videos of monkeys doing people stuff

4.) Commentary on current events

5.) Broader sports talk

6.) Personal, comedic accounts of the past and more recent zany exploits of my cohorts and I (You'd be anonymous cohorts. Relax.)

Just a few of my own ideas. If you could tell me what you like, don't like, want more of, would like to see, it would go a long way in making The Gettin' Place a better, um, place, to dick around on the world-wide-inter-super-high-web-o-sphere-net.

So I encourage, nay demand... no, that's too strong. Beg? No, too needy. Dammit.

Forget I said anything. Just leave some suggestions here.

That's right. I just Rick Roll'd the shit out of my own audience. That's how I do. 

Now if you aren't too offended, I would greatly appreciate it if you would leave your advice in the section marked "comments" underneath this post.

Cheers.

-JDP

Oh How Happy This Makes Me

I'm not going to tell you what this is. I'm not even going to give you a hint. It's better that way. It's safe for work if you happen to be in the office.

Go. Watch. Now.

Pretty Neat

Colin Munroe ft. Joell Ortiz- Piano Lessons

More proof that Black Milk can make anything sound dope.

Bon Iver EP

Anybody else think that if we threw a helmet and a #18 Bears jersey on Justin Vernon he could easily pass for Kyle Orton? The resemblance is uncanny!

Fresh off his #1 album of the year commendation from The Gettin' Place, Vernon and the Bon Iver troop now return with a four song EP entitled Blood Bank, due out on January 20th. Here's a brief rundown:

"Blood Bank" and "Beach Baby" are awesome, traditional Bon Iver tunes. The former employs a specific, storytelling lyrical style that was generally absent on For Emma while the latter features some distorted, warbling pedal steel.

"Babys" opens with a redundant piano line which gradually opens up as Vernon's falsetto jumps into the mix along with an acoustic.

"Woods" is the real oddball of the bunch for it's essentially an a cappella song featuring Vernon's voice multi-tracked all over the place. With auto-tune. No joke.

You can stream the whole thing at his MySpace. 

Enjoy.

This Woman HATES Watermelon

Here at The Gettin' Place, we try and keep things highbrow.

What's the point of living if we can't be a part of a civilized, sophisticated society?

In a world perpetually devoid of good taste, we try and bring a smidge of much-needed class to the table.








Now watch this big boobed Mexican woman smash the shit out of a watermelon with one of her boobs and then eat a slice of the boob-crushed watermelon.

Return From Hiatus

I've been vacationing and attending to other matters recently. Haven't been in the mood to blog lately. For those of you saying, "Well, you get in the mood!"... I will try.

So here's a brief recap of things that have happened since I've been out of commission:

1. Cubs send DeRo away to the Indians to join Woody, receive prospect arms

2. Cubs sign utility guys Joey Gathright, Aaron Miles

3. Cubs sign Gameboard (Milton Bradley) to three year, $30 mil. deal

4. Cubs send Marquis to Rockies for bullpen arm (Vizcaino) and cap space

The following is a very brief summary of how I feel regarding these respective moves:

1. Fuck! Fuck shit dammit! Better be a greater plan in motion...

2. Hooray. How thrilling. At least Gathright can jump over cars:

3. Not my #1 choice (I was partial to Dunn the Big Donkey) but we'll see. If he stays healthy he will rake and bring some more swag to the North Side.

4. Fine with it.

What else? Oh, Animal Collective released the first great album of 2009, Merriweather Post Pavillion. Perhaps the best track from this new offering, "My Girls," can be heard here, at their MySpace.

I discovered Detroit rapper Black Milk and his late 2008 release Tronic. It's a dope beat extravaganza. Start off with "Long Story Short," "Hell Yeah," "Overdose," "The Matrix," and my personal favorite "Bond 4 Life." Headphones highly recommended. You can stream the whole album from his MySpace here.

Oh yea. And the Bears lost. Fuck.

Well that oughta do it for now. Here's a music video some of my Colorado companions made to accompany Rick Astley's under-appreciated tour-de-force, "Together Forever." As they put it, it's "The tale of two young lads who discover the magic of friendship with the help of everyone's favorite musician." Sounds good to me. Hit it: